sling a ding ding

So my husband tore his rotator cuff (sp?) snowboarding this season. He waited until the season was over to have the surgery (dumb). Anyway I guess we both thought that this was an easy surgery. Anyway he comes home with all kinds of tubes and shit coming outta him. And he informs me that I will be the one to remove the morphine drip. What?!! I feel like that is def something a medical professional should be doing. It was by far the sickest thing I have ever had to do. There was like a foot of tube up in this motherfucker! So needless to say he is still in some pain and will be in a sling for a while. Which makes me want to fuck with him cause theres pretty much nothing he can do about it. So this whole arm in a sling thing reminds me of a story... once when I was in like 5th or 6th grade, I was fucking around and the TV fell on me and broke my arm. I was home alone so I had to lay under the TV until my mom got home. Anyway they put me in this bent cast thing where I couldn't straighten my arm. So I too was in a sling. Anyway there was this bitch at school who wasn't so fond of yours truly. So one day I'm walking home, arm in sling y todo. My other arm was full of books. So this cunt comes up behind me and pulls down my pants and pulls my shirt over my head, in front of everyone! So here I am trying to pull my pants up with my good arm and my other arm is freaking stuck over my head. I was wearing those baggy hammer pants that were so cool in the early 90's. The ones with the two flaps that folded over and buttoned in the front. The real OG's know whats up with the hammer pants. So then she takes off running. Ugghh it was one of the most awful experiences evs! But one of the funniest. Anyway I think the whole experience made me a tougher person. I know what your thinking and no I have not always been the gangsta bitch that I am today LMAO! So fast forward like 5 years and I'm in high school and me and my bf are in the drive thru at BK for lunch. And who is working the window but this de-pantsing motherfucker! So shes like oh I haven't seen you forevs blah blah and all I can think about is how she pulled my pants down. so I'm like oh so good to see you come outside and I'll give you my number so we can hang out! So when she comes out at this point I'm all adrenaline and I just swing without even thinking. And knock the bitch out one hit..... ok ok maybe not out but def down to the ground. Everyone was like WTF was that? I was even a little surprised, she didn't even fight back! It felt good... as though justice had been served. I got a ticket and couldn't go back to BK for a while. But I was ok with that. So kids remember if your arm is in a sling wear a belt fuckers! And bullies it will all come back around believe. word...

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