wonder bread

Wonder Bread Pictures, Images and Photos So I have this friend... we'll call her wonder bread. We work together... anyway she calls me today or maybe I called her, either way we were on the phone and she's like I'm bored so I says, well read my blog that'll entertain you for a bit. Well let's just say that entertain is mos def not even close to what she was... She calls me just as confused as ever. Has no idea what my blog says. I guess I use a lot of slang... So wonder bread is kinda from a diff circle than most of the peeps I surround myself with. I def think it's good that we're friends though because we bring culture into each others lives that we mos def would never EVER be exposed to otherwise. She grew up on a farm like with real live animals and shit, it still blows my mind just to think about it. She was voted like corn or pumpkin queen or some silly shit like that back in the day. Oh and she said she never even met a mexi until she went off to college, heh.. Anyway she suggested that i have a definition bar on my blog so that she can better understand what the f I'm talking about. I think she's the funniest b ever! So here is a list of "words" and phrases that ol' wonder bread was confused by: 1. ish 2. hardcore 3. peep game 4. drop knowledge 5. whatevs 6. thuggets 7. dope 8. got laced 9. sick Oh and I'm sure there's more, but you get the idea. She teaches me about sheep and goats and other country farm shit so it's an even trade.

connor hardcore

I snagged this from LARD only because this shit makes me freaking laugh every time I see it. Connor is hardcore for sure. I feel like maybe they stopped him right before shit was about to get real funky. And look how happy he is to be dancing. He's a future jabowackee or however the fuck you spell that shit, you get it though. And what the fuck is a barnstormer? Is that something I should know? Someone please drop some knowledge on a bitch... thanks PS. Go Thuggets!

What kinda girl?

Rashad Evans Pictures, Images and Photos I got Evans tonight for sure! He's my dude next to Rampage. Machidas going down for sure. Mostly cause Evans reminds me of Cuba Gooding and he's my dude too. Oh and cause Machida has a unibrow and I just cant get down with that. Oh and cause Evans smashed Lidell, which doesn't seem hard to do these days. I'm gonna miss the fights cause I have to go to a wedding... Gonna miss the Thuggets smash tonight too. I had to stop and ask myself what kinda girl would rather watch MMA and basketball over going to a wedding, and I said to myself .... I would deal.... with it.

beat boxin beeotch

This chick is kinda dope. whaaa???

get like me..

Got laced with my Denver Thuggets tees yesterday, shit is sick yo! Like none other. Big ups to Denver Frank for battling traffic to get em to me before the game. He has a bunch of other dope ish too. peep game www.denvermade.com. thuggets

really???

These coppers in Alabama are some bangers for sure! Really? how hardcore are you when you beat the shit out of a dude who's already unconscious? Oh and try explaining to your 8 year old that these are the good guys... pshhh The news story said they all got fired though so I guess that's good. I'll def be sure not to engage in any high speed car chases next time I'm in Alabama, I'll catch a beat down for sure. PS. go nuggets!

cholitas

So as you all know from previous blogs I do love being a mexi and have said that mexi women are some of the most beautiful women on the face of the earth. With that being said the chicas in this video are out of control! This is some funny ish for sure. Sad cause some of them might actually be pretty minus the eyebrows. Ok so I do have to admit that I myself am guilty of some of these looks.... back in the day of course, you member. Never the hickeys tho, my mom would smack my ass up! Gotta give it them though I don't see many highlights in these flicks, so they keep it real in that respect. PS. go Nuggets!

are you fucking kidding me?

Ok I am a big MMA fan myself. Personally I have never even really heard of this guy. But I gotta say if you wanna lose major street cred as an MMA fighter and all around bad ass, putting Spencer Pratt in your "rap video" is a pretty darn good way to do that. Ok so I have to admit that if I just heard the song and didn't watch the vid it may have not been so bad...... but really? Spencer Pratt?? To me this is the funniest shit evs for a few reasons. a. this guy is a rapping mma fighter b. Pratt's lack of gangsta boogie skills (gangstas don't dance we boogie) c. the matching outfits d. the dancing around the bonfire, what kind of gangstas do that? e. the lack of video vixens f. Spencer taking off his sunglasses (which he is wearing in the dark mind you) to mean mug the camera. Personally I hope this guy gets his ass kicked for the simple fact that he would even consider putting Spencer Pratt in his "rap video". And I hope Spencer Pratt gets his ass kicked just cause he's a dumb ass and looks completely ridiculous in this "rap video" heh... fuckin gapers.

FTP

Dude the police are some grimey motherfuckers. Check this vid from Los Angeles. Shit is crazy stupid. Oh and watch the 2nd cop come in with a few shots to the ribs. Haters for sure. Hopefully this doesn't happen to me when I visit the city of Angels... Word to your mom. PS. This ish is recent, I just saw it on the news this week.

queso

I haven't really had anything good to say lately. I went to the dentist yesterday which was awful! I freakin hate the dentist. I don't really think that theres anyone who loves it right?! Anyway they numbed the entire right side of my face. They had to do some shit called scaling or something. It was gnarly. I have to go back on Monday so they can do the other side of my mouth. I'll def be glad when its over. I feel like mouth pain is one of the worst kinda pains evs! Like when you whiten your teeth. Well i'm a sucker for good teeth I think it's super important. A yucky grill could ruin even the hottest guy..... But yeah I whiten my teeth quite often and I think that shit hurts! Looks fab when its done though. Not feeling as hilarious as I usually am, but whatevs. One

Ink Humanity

My friends are good people... Yes they are. Peep this event and get your motherfucking ink on! inkhumainty ONE TATTOO = ONE MOSQUITO NET Starting May 1, in honor of World Malaria Day For every tattoo done at Junkyard Ink through Memorial Day, we commit to buy one insecticide-treated mosquito net to save the lives of refugees and orphans on the Kwangwali Refugee Camp in Uganda. Transform your skin and transform a life. Make your appointment right away at 720-536-5945. Due to heightened political turmoil, the number of refugees flooding the Kwangwali camp is expected to double this summer, when members of our Junkyard family will be volunteering there. One African child dies every 30 seconds of malaria, and it's 100 percent preventable. Think Humanity is a local nonprofit that aims to protect every refugee on the camp from malaria, as well as improve their lives in other ways. Check out www.thinkhumanity.org. "This is not about charity. This is about justice. ... Where you live should not decide whether you live or whether you die." -- Bono

mexilights

So those of you who know me know me feelings on this subject. And despite my strong lectures I have several friends who go against my wishes every spring! You bitches know who you are! I mos def feel like mexi girls SHOULD NOT put freakin highlights in their hair. There is nothing natural looking about it! I must admit that in the past I have fallen victim to the lure of springtime highlights, but never again! Even if you go to a high end salon and pay $200 for these repulsive things it is still wrong! If the good lord wanted you have bright yellow stripes in your hair he would have made you that way! Now don't get me wrong I am not against coloring your hair, but ladies come on! I think mexi girls are by far the most gorgeous creatures on the planet.... that being because of their god given amazing features. We were made to have dark hair and dark eyes because that's what makes us different from all of these other barbie doll bitches roaming the streets. So I beg of you stay away from the foil and bleach bitch! Oh and the motherfucking colored contacts... really Please note that is is only my opinion on the subject and mostly you can do whatever you want. word Oh and here is one of my friends who has recently fallen victim to the highlight itch... sorry Rae mexilights Now not to say that she doesn't look amazing.... but it would be even better with dark hair!

celeb list

So I was talking with my friend the other day about the celeb list. You know like the list of one or two celebs you could hook it with if you had the chance without getting in trouble from your significant other. She totally had the opportunity and was a good girl instead. :) So in honor of her passed up opportunity here are my celeb free cards. Rick Gonzales... I don't care what anybody says he's on my list. He was naps in roll bounce. I love that movie! rickgonzalez rickgonzalez Selma Hayek... She is my girl crush... say somethin Photobucket

Lithium lips

I like this song it gives me butterflies I don't know why. I guess it's kinda old but I hadn't heard it.

movie night

NOTORIOUS BIG Pictures, Images and Photos We finally watched Notorious last nigh, shit was fire. I cried at the end... duh. We were trying to figure out forevs what else the guy that played puffy was in.... biker boyz he was Kid the main cat. We do that alot like see someone in a movie and it kills us trying to figure out what else they played in. Usually I can just ask my son and he always knows. I guess cause young minds work better. My boo keeps IMBD on his phone, it's this website where you type in the name of a movie and it tells you all the actors and all the other movies they played in. I pretty much let my son watch whatevs, but there was an extra lot of sexing going on in this movie.... ughhh so he went and watched cartoons. We let him watch step brothers which was just a lot of cussing he hears that shit all day... he knows better. My only problem now is that he's a movie quoter just like his dad so he wants to go around asking people if they touched his drums. And are you saying pow??? Sometimes it makes me laugh depends on what kinda mood I'm in. My cousin TA took her son who was only 3 at the time, so I don't feel so bad. Here's a clip from step brothers shit cracks me up yo...

I heart zombies

So those who know me best know that I have a completely unhealthy obsession with zombies. Zombie movies, zombie make up, zombie prom (google it) etc. My fav is Shaun of the Dead cause it's funny and I don't care what anyone thinks. A few months ago I got to do makeup for this zombie fashion show which is right up my alley. Anyway I thought I was obsessed with zombies.... well there was this special effects makeup artist there who was like completely creepy and HE was zombie obsessed. So they had like a meeting before the show just for all the hairstylists and makeup artists to meet the models and designers and stuff. And in kindergarten fashion we all had to get up and introduce ourselves and say what we do. So this fuckin guy stands up in front of everyone and is like my name is Phil and I'm a special effects artist and a zombie slayer, and dude is like dead serious. I think we were all waiting for him to say just playin but he never did. So then later he comes up and is like I'm so excited to work with you. And telling me to like join his zombie slayer club and shit... It was fucking bizarre to say the least. The diff between my obsession and Phil the zombie slayers is I'm more into zombie art per say and homie straight up thinks zombies are real and runs around with his friends looking for them and shit. Anyway I still heart zombie shit, mostly hot zombie bitches. So me and some friends got together and did a totally rad zombie shoot. It was by far the sickest shoot I have ever done! These bitches are just as dark as I am so it's cool. Here are some pics: This is me this was a practice run before the shoot. All the bruises and veins are makeup... obviously my face isn't all fucked up like that imazombie heartmyface This is Oktane she makes a good zombie oktanezombie zombiebitches Aimee face zombie pocozombie pocozombie

drunky face

So Saturday night was complete debauchery in my world. Waaaay too much vodka was consumed by all. Believe it or not sometimes bottle service is a bad idea. And the stiletto vodka combo is def not as glamorous as it may sound. Then we come to drunk dialing/texting. I mos def feel like cell phones should come equipped with breathalyzers. The things people say when they are drunk are hilarious. My hilarity is pretty much a constant but def is elevated when alcohol enters the equation. Oh and I am the queen of mis texting, I send the wrong messages to the wrong people all freakin day but it def gets worse when alcohol is involved, and can sometimes be sooooo embarrassing! So if you have ever been a victim of an Angel mis text... my apologies And how the hell do drunk people stay up until 6 in the morning? I feel like if i'm drunk i'm passed the fuck out by 2:30 at the latest... I hate being drunk it is the worst feeling evs! And i'm a denial drunk, like totally hammered talking about how i'm ok to drive. I actually think I drive better when i'm drunk cause i'm so paranoid, but I need to be on the phone conversing to stay awake. And I rarely ever puke thank god. Puking is the worst ever! And I never puke in public ever!!! So we are leaving Martini Ranch (I know) and there is this girl just puking her guts out all over the sidewalk, shit was all over her jeans y todo. So I thought I would take a pic just to remind me never to get that drunk. Needless to say her friend was not very happy about me playing paparazzi but whatevs. Here she is... hilarious drunkbitch

are people really this dumb?

These people are fucking hilarious. I'm going to get in trouble for laughing so loud when i'm supposed to be working. I snort when I laugh really hard JSYK.