Dear Bunnny....... I'm sorry

As I was driving to work this morning puffing on a Djarum black, (yes I was smoking because I fucking needed it today... don't judge me) I was thinking about my bestie Bunnny, and how she is now, thanks to me completely addicted to smoking.
It all started on one sunny lunch hour two years ago. I suggested that she try some of my cigarette, she'd never smoked before so she did that thing where she didn't inhale and just blew it out. So I proceeded to teach her how to inhale. Her life has never been the same since. After this day we managed to purchase every flavor of cigar and cigarette at the Smoker Friendly shop. We even tried smoking straight up indian tobacco and smoked it out of a pipe like Sherlock Holmes. Side note: Don't ever try that shit it's fucking disgusting, I don't know how Hef handles that mess. So after sampling all of the varieties the tobacco store had to offer, we settled on Djarum blacks a delicious clove cigarette. Which also happens to be where the idea for the black whorebath cig came to life (yes people there is meaning behind the logo)
Recently the government passed a law to ban flavored tobacco which included our precious Djarums. Side note: Dear government please concentrate on the important shit that our country has going on and keep your meddling ass off my flavored cigs. Thanks. So while they still sell blacks they are not nearly as delicious as they were before, which I guess is prob better cause i'm less likely to smoke as much (unless its warped tour all day concert rock hands time). Bunny on the other hand has been on a constant search to find a cancer stick as fulfilling as our beloved blacks.
So to my dear sweet Bunnny as I watch you in your everyday struggle, I want you to know how truly sorry I am to have hooked you on such a deadly and delicious substance. I know you would have been just fine with the whiskey/cocaine addiction that you already had. (joke...kinda) "haha my word will be WHiskey"
Here's to us Bun and our sick addictions, of which cigarettes are the least damaging to our overall well being...






Please note that I am not attempting to glamorize smoking in anyway. That shit is bad for you and will fucking kill you. Word

2 comments:

J Bunny. said...

omg i heart slash hate you. when i die of lung cancer you can laugh all the way to my grave about the day you taught me how to 'really' smoke. i was a dummy, but at least i was a non-addicted dummy. ps. dont smoke my shit b... a little bit of me dies each time someone other than me enjoys a delicious pre-FDA black. ahhhhh......

J Bunny. said...

ps. my sherlock holmes pipe was an amazing idea... where the f is that thing? i need to solve some mysteries!