it's colder than a whore's heart outside!

I will attempt to put a positive spin on this fuck ass cold weather we've been having. Here are the pros.

1. Great excuse to buy new boots!
2. Everyone looks better with hard nipples.
3. When the news lady says "black ice" it sounds like she's saying "black guys" Look out for patches of black guys. Ha, this is funny to me!
4. Cuddling is more effective when it is below zero.
5. The fur people are extra angry this time of year and that always makes me chuckle.
6. I can wear sneakers to work and they wont tell me shit.
7. Mittens! who doesn't love mittens? Fuck you if you don't you're stupid.
8. Hot chocolate + liquor = LOVE
9. friction = heat.... haha yeeeeah!

Thats all I got. There's not too many positives to this shit. I'm just extra glad to have a warm bed to sleep in at night! I feel bad for all the homeless people and hookers out there.

No comments: