Things I Learned this week...

1. Dinner with friends is good for the soul.
2. Christmas lights make me feel extra happy on the inside!
3. Flipping someone off while wearing mittens is not very effective.
4. I text and drive MORE now that it’s illegal. I call it Drexting, which can also be used for drunk texting.
5. I like whispering too…
6. “Jamo” is a term used for Jameson hwhiskey… guess who taught me that one. Ha
7. I have a tremendous amount of split ends and I pick at them all day! I am in need of a haircut.
8. Apparently I’m so fresh, that people pretend to know and hang out with me. I can’t decide if I’m flattered or super sketched out.
9. New snow tires are legit. Kinda makes me wanna hang on to Badluck Bettie even though I know we don’t belong together anymore.
10. I gave $10 to a homeless man this morning. It was really cold and he had frost on his beard and no gloves. I shoulda gave him my mittens. But he wouldn’t have been able to flip anyone off. I’m never sure if the corner standing sign people are really homeless, but this guy looked legit… I mean legit like really homeless. Giving feels good.
11. I like to drink coke from a bottle. This means one of two things, I’m a lesbian or super traditional.
12. No matter how much love or perfume you put into a gift, it will not stop the recipient from throwing it away. SMH
13. Tequila + lack of sleep + adderall = a bad bad morning.
14. Elementary school performances aren’t what they used to be. Whatever happened to wearing a Christmas shirt and standing in rows singing Frosty the Snowman?
15. Interpretive dance done by 9 year olds scares me. Especially when creepy mannequin heads in bags are involved.
16. My mini is the most amazing kid on the planet. I’m extra extra lucky!
17. I like to put things in list form lately. I can assure you it’s the Adderall.

1 comment:

Miss Rachel said...

LMAO. Those 9-year olds were on some eyes Wide Shut shit.. AND ALSO, there WAS dead head in a bag.