"If it wasn't for date rape, I'd never get laid"

Apparently some fuckin genius who was most likely raped came up with this fuckin brilliant idea. A drink coaster that tells you if your cocktail has been fucked with. Basically you drip some of your beverage onto the coaster and it changes color if some dick is tryna drug you up. Pretty smart huh! None of us want to wake up with a fucking jungle cat in our bathrooms or a baby in the closet right.
I can't say for sures if I've ever been roofied but I'm like 87% sure these two strippers in Vegas totally slipped me a mickey! I had one beer and I was fuuuuuuucked up! Bitches be triflin! Rest assured the evil strippers didn't get the best of me that night. We sucessfully stumbled into a cab and made it back to the hoteez. Not to worry folks, I didn't leave without getting the best lap dance of my life! Pshhhh. No evil stripper is gonna get in these drawers, I mean without permission! Bahahaaaha
Anyway here is my favorite song about date rape. Haha, yeah I have a favorite date rape song, so what!

Black Doug: "I always wondered why they were called roofies, 'cause you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. They should call 'em floories."
Alan: "Or rapies"

No comments: