This and That

  • I puked today. In my trashcan. In my office. It tasted like orange juice. I didn't drink orange juice. 
  • I'm terrible at making nachos. Actually I'm kinda terrible at making anything. Except maybe pumpkin bread. Which I don't even eat, so I don't know.
  • I felt frumpy. So I cut my hair. And I pierced my nose. I feel better.
  • Rizzo gave my son a snake. We fed him a mouse. It was fuckin horrible. My son cheered him on. The snake , not the mouse. The snake wants to eat Jonny.
  • I already miss Jersey Shore. Arsenio Hall was the original fist pumper. 
  • I have more roses than I know what to do with. I'm still not sure how I feel about that.
  • I hate being cold. I'm glad I'm not homeless. Oh and cause I like to eat and watch TV.
  • I like knowing exactly what I want. I hate not getting it.
  • I'm the queen of traffic tickets. None of us should even have to pay taxes, on a count of I dish out so many fucking snaps on traffic tickets.
  • I'm extra excited for black Friday. I'ma go the fuck in. Me & madukes.
  • My ass is getting fat. I need to start jogging. 
  • My nephew is pretty much the shit. I'm extra proud of him, he's one of the few good dudes that still exist.
  • Never tell a girl she looks tired. Never. It's seriously so fucked up.

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