Checking it twice.

Not like a list of shit that I want for Christmas, but a Christmas kinda themed list. With some other bullshit mixed in. pow.

1. I saw on the news this morning that some zombie monster dolls are like the most popular toy this year for Christmas. This makes my heart happy.

2. I'm pretty much a G when it comes to wrapping gifts. Ask about me.

3. They say you're suppose to be nicer during this season. They should say, tis the season to act fucking smarter. I won't be so mean when people aren't so fucking dumb.

4. I think it's funny how people always ask you what you want for Christmas, and so you tell them and they get you something completely fucking different. Why even ask?

5. Hat party Christmas dinner is the most fucking legit thing ever. There's nothing better than watching ma dukes and papa bear sitting at the table enjoying Christmas dinner while rocking a generals hat and a banker visor.

6. All Christmas/Holiday parties should include some form of alcoholic beverage. No exceptions should be made to this rule. ever.

7. We always eat tamales on Christmas. Here is my mother's theory as to why:
              Mom: Why do Mexicans have tamales for Christmas?
              Me: Why?
              Mom: So we have something to unwrap.
My mom is fucking hilarious. Now you know.

8. When you attempt to type "hito" into an iPhone, it auto completes to Hitoshi. I have no fucking idea what that means but I now call my nephew Hitoshi. We just go with the flow.

9. Lady brought her daughter into work today she's like 7 or some shit. So this other lady is like "Have you been a good girl this year so Santa will visit?" The little girl says "Yeah mostly". So I said to the little girl "Sweetheart, I've been naughty pretty much every year since I was 12 and every year there's presents for me under the tree. Don't believe the hype." I'm pretty sure she won't be bringing her daughter around me ever again.

10. I've now been sick for about 3 weeks straight. I thought being a Mexi made me immune to this shit. I was wrong.

11. I'm never going to win the football pool, ever.

12. There is no substitute for spending quality time with your girls. None. Can you hear me bitch?

My kinda Christmas carols

This track rocks my world. Where were you in 1987?

And this one.... woah. Ya'll already know Eazy does it! "Over the hills I go, laughing at these hoes"

Fuckin Snoop. This is def the kinda Christmas I'm fixin to have. A pimp Christmas. Duh.

Best Christmas cards ever.

Don't be surprised if some of you get one of these in the mail next year! 

Because we all need a little therapy....

And to be honest some of you need more than others... Just sayin.
But for those of you who can't afford a shrink, here's the next best thing.
The latest release from Fresh Breath Committee, Group Therapy proves to be mad therapeutic. Soothing the ears and soul simultaneously. But don't let the album title fool you, it's not made up of a bunch of cry baby ballads. There are more than a few bangers on this EP that are sure to penetrate your ears and leave you feeling completely satisfied.
Rumor has it that FBC is grinding hard as ever in the studio these days, so lets hope to see a fuck ton of content released in 2012.
Oh, and my fav track on the album is probably Shinin' Stars on a count of Chiefa's singing does something special to me...

What comes after plan A?

I recently had the opportunity to work with artist and friend Myke Charles on his latest music video project Plan B! Fresh off of NBC's The Sing Off, Myke is right back on his hustle. I really liked working on this video because the nature and substance of it is a bit dark. And I myself am a bit dark. Not that I don't love booty shakin' videos, but there's a bazillion of them. Dude has mad talent and is mosdef on his way to the top! Be sure to check his website for his latest releases, downloads and projects. Word.
Here's the video for your viewing pleasure, you can peep my makeup work throughout the piece. You're welcome.


This is where you'll need to be tonight. Do not miss this! Pow!

Retro ho ho

My Minion isn't like normal kids, hes better. He's into the coolest shit. I'm so glad I don't own one of those video game kids! For real!
So for my Minion, who is different. I'm taking him to this Retro Holiday Film Festival this weekend! He will love it! It's at the Esquire Theatre with midnight showings.

Yo Yo Yo Merry Christmas!!

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the casa, the air was filled with the smell of fresh masa.

Though it was not much, it was all that they had and for Christmas this year the outlook was bad.

Mama y Papa had no money for toys, no dolls for las ninas, no bikes for the boys.

The famila prayed, then went off to bed, for they were just grateful for the roof on their heads.

They woke the next morning to a knock on the door. It was Cholo Clause and his vatos, x4!

See Cholo Clause does not sneak in to leave presents, where he comes from that will get you arrested. The children were excited and most of all shocked, to see Cholo Clause and his low rider dropped.

“Feliz Navidad!” He shouted with cheer! “We’ve brought you some presents and a case of cold beer! “

La familia was so grateful and so happy, there was gifts for each child y Mama y Papi!

As Clause left the casa and pulled closed the door, you could hear him shout at his vatos x4. “Andale vatos there’s more toys to deliver!” So they jumped in the ride all shiny and silver.

Cholo Clause left with his homies, and drove out of sight. For each family they visited…. Christmas was alright.

So let’s not forget Cholo Clause is legit, but all of these gifts he needs help to get. So if you’re a fan, please give what you can, for we all deserve Christmas every woman and man. Cholo Clause resides with The Casuals of course, so holler at us if you’d like to support!
This is the kinda shit my friends send me pretty much on a daily basis. My friends are better than your friends. This is hilarious on so many different levels.

Bad misses throwin blackberry kisses

Marilyn Manson and I would like to take a minute to thank MAC Cosmetics for the one day only re-release of thier Black Knight lipstick! If you didn't order yours on Black Friday well then you're fuck outta luck. Try as they may, no other cosmetic line has yet created a lip color quite like this. I ordered 3 of them on a count of I may never get the chance again! The little goth girl in me is mad excited! And for those of you thinking that black lipstick is only for JNCO jean wearing juggalo kids... peep game. Grrrr baby.

Words with enemies

You see this? This is complete bullshit! I live in Amuurica and so I speak Amuurican. This is a fucking conspiricy!

Don't feed the whores

A list, because it's been too long. Oh and cos no one does it like I does. Fuck off, I'm busy. You don’t know my life.

• I'm so fucking glad those black Friday Target commercials are over. That bitch is just straight up frightening to me. Her whole face just isn't right. Oh and that one where the lady is jamming a ham into a turkey. Motherfuck that one was disturbing! So disturbing we rewound it and watched it like 5 times.

• I do however love that one where the bitches are like “She’s a Black Friday legend. She even named her baby Black Friday” That one is funny! It always reminds me my friend Ebony, she’s totally a Black Friday legend! Although she named her most recent crew member Aubrey, we all know that Aubrey is just Spanish for “Black Friday”.

• Social networking just isn’t what it used to be man. It's either overkill joy and happiness like "OMG I love my life, I shit ponies and rainbows, blah blah" or overkill hate and anger like "You can't trust anyone, even my mom is out to get me, we're all doomed blah blah" oh and of course you have the cock rings on some "Me and my friends are the dopest ever, everyone else is lame, we all jerk each other off blah blah" I rarely log in anymore cos it's pretty much retarded.

• I had my first white Thanksgiving this year. I don’t know what I was expecting, but white Thanksgivings are pretty much just like Mexi Thanksgivings minus the green chile and tamales of course. I foresee many many more white Thanksgivings in my future :)

• I made pumpkin chocolate chip cookies to take to the white Thanksgiving. No one died, so I’d consider that a win.

• MaDukes and Papa Bear officially hate my red hair. Papa says red is for clowns. They’re old school tho. But I'm kinda over it myself, so back to black it is, oh and few extensions couldn’t hurt either. I mean mostly cos it’s hard to whip ma hair back & forth when it’s so short. Duh.

• I'm stoked that Beavis & Butthead are back in rotation! Is it just me, or are they funnier than before? I'm glad my son gets to experience the hilarity too! Even tho most parents would never let their kids watch that shit, I'm not like most parents. Oh not to mention Butt Head may or may not be a complete clone of someone I know *cough*CHIEFA*cough*. Bwaahahaha. No fucking lie bro.

• I will hold my pee forever! I feel like stopping what I'm doing to go potty is such a fucking burden! In fact I have to pee right fucking now as I type this. I wish I could hire someone to go to the bathroom for me. Oh and it does not help that I get locked in the bathroom stalls 32% of the time. I'm gonna be that old lady that just straight up pisses everywhere and doesn’t give a fuck.

• Words with friends is straight up bullshit. They’re tryna convince me that June isn’t a word but Qi is? Get the fuck outta here! What dick for brains is in charge over there? I have never used the word Qi in any sentence in my entire life! I only use this word when I’m losing at words and have no other moves. Pshhh

• Oh also, I'm certain that most of the people I play words with are cheating! These motherfuckers play some words that I’ve never even seen or heard before ever! And mostly I know this cos I'm a genius so I pretty much know every single word ever. Yeah.

• I think it was last year when I revealed to my son that Santa was a sham. We were playing truth or dare and he asked so I told him. Fuck it saves me money.

• Minion asked for a Swiss army knife for Christmas, so being the responsible co-parent that I am, I asked his father. His father said no. Yeah, same father that bought him a Beretta air soft gun for his birthday…. Without consulting me. Still tryna figure out how that’s fair.

• I like surprises. Bring it.

Cos a 90's house party don't stop

Oh how I love me a house party! Who doesn't right? Obviously if people hated house parties this jam would not be celebrating 3 years! Congrats to my peeps on the 3 year anniversary of the 90's House party!
This edition is for sure gonna be a fucking banger! Bring your faces and your door knockers, and I'll see you there. Boom.

Throw ya dubs up

Lady Wu is at it again causing a muhfuckin ruckus. Peep the girls latest project, shit is fucking murder. Extra proud of my girls for this one! You already know, these some cooooold ass women right here. My girls are in biz of breaking necks, so you best protect yours.


It's never too late for Brunch! Download it, digest it, love it. Brunch is officially my new favorite meal. Om nom nom om nom. Eat up motherfuckers.

vote or die

There's not much time left! Vote your motherfucking asses off!! You can vote 10x per voting method, so tell your friends. Shout out to the homie Purp. Bring that shit home my dude!
Oh and don't forget to watch The Sing Off tomorrow night on NBC. 

screen shots

This is why I love my people. To the moon Alice! To the moon!

Ya ain't ready for it bitch

Now I'm not a huge fan of the most recent rap releases, even by some of the heavy hitters in the game. It's all been sorta lack luster in my opinion. But there's always something about a voice from the past that takes you back.
So, while being chauffeured to work this morning, my boo had this on the ipod. I listened for a few seconds, and thought to myself that bitch sounds just like Gangsta Boo.... Well duh it totally was! I swear she'd fallen off the face of the earth. And motherfuck it was good to hear her voice! Reminded me of good times with good people. Not to mention Boo fucking preaches on this track, and I swear puts into words exactly what I've been feeling for the last few weeks.
"I see you bitches talkin loud but you ain't sayin shit. Get the fuck from round here you don't rep my shit. You ain't from my city you dont know about this. You don't want that drama, ya ain't ready for it bitch."
Fuckin Gangsta Boo. What can I even say. You already know. Whole track goes hard as fuck. Enjoy.

Extra Fucking Legit

Shout out to the homie Big Zome on his new video! Shit is good. Has a good feel to it. I always enjoy those kinda "feel good" joints with the hooks that I can bob my head to. It features AVIUS of Prime Element and Julox. And Holy shit I'd never heard Julox before this track! Dude has thee fucking sickest voice ever! He seriously would give Barry White's bass a run for its money! Look for cameos from a bunch of the homies too!
Anyway, congrats on the video Zomer! Keep makin them bangers my dude! Peep game:
So Legit from Zome on Vimeo.
Diamond Boiz

Better off Dead

Ah yes ain't that fresh.
Ok so I know I say "you don't wanna miss this" all the fucking time. So I'll put it like this... YOU CANNOT FUCKING MISS THIS! It's the first ever Dia De Los Muertos party!!! There will be art by the Mile High City's best! Live performances by Mane Rok & DJ Tense, Diamond Boiz, One Eyed Kings, and Kontrast & Fo Chief  ♥. Not to mention it's the official video release party for Zome's "Diamond In The Flesh" music video! This shit is gonna be motherfucking berries!! There will be ticket giveaways as well as some special giveaways from Whorebath Clothing!! So paint your faces the best you can and bring your asses to the Funky Buddah this Saturday!! I'm so fucking excited for this!! You really need to be here. Serio.

Death is Beautiful

So super proud of my dude Spoke! The long awaited release of his newest album "Beautiful Dead" is here for your listening pleasure. Spoke has been working on this project for a while and it shows. This whole album is murder. The 11 track album includes tracks featuring some of CO hip-hops originals like Infinite Mindz, DJ Chonz, and DJ Psycho, as well as heavy hitters like Yonnas of BLKHRTS.
There is so much happening on this album it's ridiculous, from the hardest of verses to a little R&B slow down for the ladies. I promise you'll love this album, I do.
Peep it here, and do yourself a favor and download yourself a copy.
Oh and yes, that is yours truly on the track list art. Thanks Spoke for allowing me to be part of this amazing project. Amor.

lesson learned

A few lessons I learned over the last few weeks of my life. Thought I'd share them with ya'll.
  • A good friend told me this. "Not everyone has the sort of character to do their own thing. Unfortunately, that's pretty much how the masses get down." These words helped me realize that I do have this sort of character, and I'm glad I do. I'm just going to embrace the fact that I am one of the few who posses this trait. I think I spent too much time worrying about the poor souls who do not have the character or creativity to do their own thing, rather than just being glad that I do.
  • I'd like to apologize to my garage for taking it for granted. This week I remembered just how important it is to me and how much I love it. I promise to sweep it, and keep it clean, and take good care of it on a count of it takes real good care of me.
  • My Minion Cakes is pretty much my very best friend. He keeps a smile on face and he takes good good care of my heart. He will forever be the only boy I trust with this heart.
  • I'm an amazing makeup artist. Not to toot my own horn, but toot fucking toot! I actually surprised myself this year. Hard work and years of practice really do pay off. I only hope to get better and better.
  • The iPhone update is not all that fancy in my opinion. It just added a whole bunch of unnecessary and confusing shit.
  • I'm a sissy. Yeah, someone told me that this week. I hate all these fucking paranormal evil ass movies on TV this time of year. That shit scares the motherfuck outta me. I refuse to entertain that bullshit and allow it into my home. Now, gimmie a good ol fashion zombie or slasher flick and I'm in. So yeah, as dark and scary as I may seem, I gotta draw the line somewhere. Oh and I don't do haunted houses either.
  • Going to the gym feels really good. All the boys should prepare themselves to be brought to the yard. (jokes)
  • Remember when getting down on one knee and thanking the lord was just called praying? Haha I do, it's sad that it has to be trendy for people to do it. Society glorifies the fucking stupidest shit these days.

The darker the better

A few of my favorite hallofuckingween joints. Enjoy.

And of course.....

It matters...

Aye finally! Here it is! The much anticipated release from Fo Chief and ProCyse "Nothing Else Matters". 7 originals and 3 bonus tracks to get your deep thinkin on. This shit goes hard, no lie. "On Everything" is prob my fave off of this album. But I guarantee each and every track on this project is deep.
Just goes to show ya, different feels good. Really really fucking good!

So here ya go. Listen, love, load. You're welcome!

keep it really real

Forgive me. For I have sinned.

Well if you're from Denver and do not reside under a rock, the you've probably heard that we have a pretty amazing crew repping our city on NBC's The Sing Off. Urban Method is an a capella group based right here in the Mile High City. They are pretty much killing it on the show. Coming in hot every week!
Now don't get me wrong most of the groups on the show are pretty good. I suppose they wouldn't be there if they weren't. But Urban Method posses that secret weapon that their competition cannot touch..... Myke Charles.
Not only does this cat have chords like the best of em but he can spit that fire too! Myke Charles (formerly Purpose of Fresh Breath Committee) is a multi dimensional music mastermind! You gotta have more than one talent these days to stand out from the pack.
So for those of you who didn't know, now you know. Oh and watch him Monday nights on The Sing Off on NBC! Good luck Purp we're rooting for ya fam!
Do yourself a favor and check Myke's latest track Hotel Confessions. You'll be glad you did. And while you're at it peep some of his other music too. I guarantee you'll be a fan!

Hotel Confessions by MykeCharles

Oh and while I'm at it here's my all time favorite joint From Myke featuring the amazing, talanted, extra sexy Fo Chief ;) Peep game!
07 Bonus Track-Cherry Lipstick (ft. Fo Chief) by MykeCharles

can you feel it in your bones?

October is always without a doubt one of the busiest months in my life. I roll with it tho, on a count of me and October got a thang, ya digg.
So as fall creeps in and Halloween nears, the events and activities get doper! Still not sure how I'm gonna squeeze in everything I wanna do this weekend in between rocking faces.... But I always find a way to make shit happen.
Here's a few events that you should bring your face to. Mine will be there, dead or alive...

The 6th Annual Denver Zombie Crawl!!!!! Maaarrrraaggghhhh!! You already know how I feel about zombies! So of course me and my undead entourage will be all up in this beeotch helping to set that Guinness record! Get dead and then get undead and meet us there motherfuckers!! Oh and my day is already booked solid so you're on your own as far as makeup. Lo siento...
Ok so after I wash all of the brains off, I'll get pretty and put on my blue suedes for the evenings events! This months installment of the always fly Firelily event Paparazzi For The People, features the Mile High City's very own DJ Vajra! Now this event always promises the cream of the crop when it comes to guest DJs, but this motherfucker takes the cake!! He's got the whole wide world in his hands! Yes the fucking world champion.... world champion DJ Vajra. Go ahead and let that marinate for a minute.
If you've never had the pleasure of shaking your ass to Vajra's mix, well all I can say is I'm sorry! Oh and I could never ever leave out the evenings other guest DJs also Mile High favorites. DJ Chonz and Miss Ginger Perry will supply the foreplay for your eardrums before Vajra comes in and fucks them hard. Yeah, I went there.
So if you're up for a good ear fucking, bring your face to Beauty Bar. Mine will be there.
Last but not least you should def find time in you evening to swing by Chances for the homie Big Joe Thunder's birthday party! I'm pretty sure he's turning 21 again! As always he's bringing several of Denver's finest artists to melt your face with live performances! My American Trash familia is in the line up, so you'll def wanna be in the building for that! Stop by, buy Big Joey a shot, or smoke a blunt with him. Either way wish him a happy birthday! Word.
While engaging in a conversation about a relative who shall remain nameless. The following hilarity ensued. I will never ever get tired of the things this kid says to me. I'm his biggest fan.

Me: "Son, I don't know why she dresses like a boy. Some girls just do that."
Mini: "So is she like woman gay?"
Me: "Huh? Woman gay?"
Mini: (whispering) "Yeah, you know a lesbian."
Me: "Yes son its called lesbian not woman gay."
Mini: "Well I didn't know if I was allowed to say the L word."

PS. I'd like to give a great big fuck you to society for leading our children to believe that a word like lesbian could ever possibly be a bad word!!! SMH

It's sad

Go to this show tonight. It'll be dope. You already know. Word the fuck up.
Scare Tactics is probably the most hilarious show ever. Watching people get scared is so motherfucking funny for some reason. Of course it's only funny when it's happening to someone else.
There will always be people from your past that refuse to let go. They will ridicule everything you do. They will forever knock your happy. They will be bitter. They will be mean. It is for these reasons that they are in your past.

I'm pretty much a G when it comes to kissing.


For those who need to brush up on their zombie. I wonder if Rosetta Stone has a zombie series? If not, they should. Should be a quick and easy read on a count of zombies pretty much only say "braaaainssss" oh and "om nom nom om nom". Word.

why it's ok to swallow

Boys,.... you're welcome.

I'm a motherfucking monster

All Hallows eve is right around the corner motherfuckers. If you haven't figured it out yet, it's time to start thinking about your costume! And don't make it something stupid either!
As October usually goes, my schedule is booking up with a quickness! So if you need your face rocked it is in your best interest to holler like fucking ASAP!

Oh and for those of you who don't know how I get down.... here's a little reminder:




This is just a sampling of course... whatever you can think of, I can make it happen! For booking email me @ word.