Whatcha gon' do, make ya face fall off

You should know that this is my new favorite song! I love it! Me and G and Brasko bumped it Friday night on our way to the Solution and it's been in my head ever since. It's hilarious and awesome. Shout out to the little hyna at Hot Topic who was spittin this shit like no ones business! Oh, and it may or may not be my new ring tone. Judge me.
"fuck her in the face until it fall off, till she gag"

this is one of my favorite words... sorry mom

Oh you fancy huh?

In the never ending quest to have the flyest manis, I've pretty much tried everything! My manis tend to last an average of 3-4 days. Once my polish chips I just pick at it till it looks so fucked up that I have to do a fresh one. I def feel like my nails are always wet! I have tried the dry polish, minx, broadway etc. and until now hated every single brand with the exception of Incoco (which you can't really find anymore). I liked Incoco on a count of it was thin and easy to put on, and it lasted for fucking ever! Minx was crap! It was all wrinkly and lifted like a day later, same with broadway. So I recently came across some reviews on these Sally Hansen Salon Effects nail strips. From what I read, they were super similar to the Incoco consistency. But I had to see for myself. I found them at walgreens for $9.99 a box. They do have some super wicked designs tho. I bought these two:
I applied them today while sitting at my desk. (apparently I have a ton of important work to do) It was quick only took like 15 minutes. The best part is that you don't have to worry about fucking them up cause there is zero drying time. My only complaint is that the box says there's 16 strips included, and there was definitely only 15 in my package. Someone at the nail strip plant is fucking up! Other than that I love them! Here is the end result:
I'll be rocking this extra fancy mani for Miss Rachel's B-Day debauchery this evening. Also lets see how long it takes for the biters to be rocking the same shit. Ready...... GO!

Is there an echo in here?

There are few things I like more than kissing. Kissing is my fucking favorite! All kinds of kisses, I don't discriminate. But my fav of all time are "echo kisses". Give me echo kisses and I'll be yours forever, or at least till I get bored with you.
 Echo kisses go a little something like this:
or this:
+= echo kisses!

Try it, I promise you'll like it. It makes the best sound and makes me giggle every time. Once a guy refused to give me echo kisses, and I divorced him. Nuff said.


all black urrthang

I kinda hate when people call me goth. I mean I'm a little dark and morbid in my own way, but goth is a bit of a stretch. I also feel like I'm a little to old to be thrown into categories. I do what I do, rock what I rock, and like what I like.
So while I do mostly rock all black urrthang, I like to keep my booty in something bright! That being said, this made me smile... because I do!

Say goodnight to the bad guy

Is it wrong that most of the time I root for the bad guy? I like villains, they are awesome. Ok, so in most movies they usually end up dead or in jail or melting. But they usually go out guns a blazing! And if they don't meet their demise, they usually somehow turn into a good guy (which is nonsense). You're either a good guy or  bad guy, you cant be both.
In most movies, I think they have it all twisted. For example, they usually portray the police as the good guys. Well, we all know that the police are fucking awful! Oh and Darth Vadar, he was totally just misunderstood. I'm sayin, don't believe the hype.
Here's some examples of perfectly decent villains who were totally given a bad name!

Maleficent: Ok, no one with an eyebrow arch like her could possibly be that evil! I feel like the three little fairy god mothers were just hating on her! They are most likely jealous of her! As far as sleeping beauty goes, that bitch was lazy anyway, and pretty much got what she had coming. I have mad love for the villain with a perfect ruby red pout & matching manicure! And after all, every one loves a bad bitch! 

The Shark in Jaws: I mean seriously, how is he the bad guy? Technically all those motherfuckers that got eaten were all up in his feeding area. If you're gonna swim around in my bowl of soup you have to know that theres a pretty good possibility that you're gonna be fucking dinner. I think he was also underestimated. He wasn't just some dumb fish, he knows that main characters taste waaaay better than extras! Duh.

Cruella deVil: I mean really you can't knock the bitch for wanting to be fabulous. I know most people don't go to the extremes that she did, but when a girl wants a fur coat she does what it takes! She has vision and drive, both admirable qualities. And in all honesty 101 Dalmatians is far too many! Seriously, share the wealth. I have mad love for the bitch and her "out of the box" fashion sense.


Stand up, State Your Name

Yo this shit is brand spankin new today! Adrian Molina has officially released his newest  project, Name & Town w/ Diles, and it's really really fucking good. The whole album has a different feel than his previous projects. It's a little grittier a little more city. Reminds me a bit of The Rat Pack for some reason.  The thing I really dig about this dude is unlike most "rappers" he's humble and mad appreciative of his success. That's a rare quality these days.

"It's where you at, and influences that made you"
The first official single is Name & Town feat. Mane Rok. This track goes hard as fuck, as does the entire album. For real, y'all gotta hear this. Today is tho official online release, so if you know whats good for you, you'll get on it like rightfuckingnow!

Strap Up Bitches

Ok, so mostly I hate condoms on a count of they feel, smell, and taste fucking terrible (And no, I don't go around putting condoms in my mouth. But you know. like after you touch one, then somehow that same hand ends up in your mouth. Don't act like you don't know what the fuck I'm talking about either!). Anyway, you'd think I'd LOOOOOVE condoms on a count of I hate babies so much. Not to worry, I take mad precaution! I generally prefer to use the pull & pray method. Seems to working so far. (fuck I hope I didn't just jinx that shit)
Well these condoms are a little different, and waaay more glamorous than your ordinary Trojan. They are condoms for your stilettos! They offer serious protection from diseases that unfortunately a lot of bitches are infected with these days. These diseases include but are not limited to: BBS also known as Basic Bitch Syndrome, CFDD Can't Fucking Dress Disorder, and WAFD Wack As Fuck Disease. These conditions are unfortunately spreading like wildfire! I see infected hoes everywhere! Symptoms include wearing the same outfit every fucking weekend, biting someone elses steez, showing skin to make up for your lack of style and creativity.
So these heel condoms are a great method of prevention! Not only are they glam as fuck, there are so many different styles that you'll be sure to find something that fits your swagg exactly! They just slip over your heel, and your foot holds them in place. They're compatible with stilettos of any height, so you can switch them from pair to pair. And they are reasonably priced, so really there's no excuse.
Here are a few of my favorite designs. Keep yourself covered ladies, cop your protection here.
 

Gen PSA: Everybody should have safe sex, lots and lots and lots of safe sex. If you're not gonna use a condom, use something. Seriously... babies are fucking awful. Oh, and I hear STDs are pretty gnarly too. Word.

You keep me the sunshine, save me the rain.

For some reason I'm in a negative ass mood today. I feel like everyone I know is pissing me off in one way or another. I feel like either screaming or ripping the flesh off of someones face. Maybe I need to go out and start a fight to get some of this aggression out. Geezus I've listened to "Drop the World" like 7 times today. It's probably not helping the cause.
Whatever, I'm embracing my nasty fucking attitude today. Sometimes you just gotta roll wit it, ya know. So here's a list of shit that pisses me the fuck off.
  • Being ignored makes me really fucking mad. I feel like everyone should think I'm as important as I think I am. If I text you or email you, you better be responding really fucking fast. I don't really care for excuses.
  • Un-plowed/un-shoveled roads/sidewalks. It's been like a fucking week since it snowed. Handle that shit already! At least throw some ice melter down. If I slip and fall one more fucking time, someone is gonna pay with their face.
  • People that don't have inside voices. Seriously this is some shit we learned in kindergarten. And do you notice the people that cant control the volume of their voices never have anything good to say. If you're gonna talk loud as fuck at least talk about something of interest to others. Thanks.
  • My iPhone shuffle setting is another contributor to my bitter mood. For some reason it's playing every single song that I have no desire of hearing today. Making me think about shit that I don't want to think about. I think I'm gonna just put "Drop the World" on loop so I can keep my angry face on all day.
  • Wrinkles. Fuck them. Fuck them hard. I feel so super old lately. It really makes me extra angry for some reason. I feel like I'm way older that everyone around me.
  • Bills. They never end. I wish they would. I feel like I always "owe" something or someone. I don't think I'll ever truly be debt free. Grown up bull shit.
  • The unloyal. You know who you are. If I allow you into my circle of trust, consider yourself way fucking lucky. And it's in your best interest to prove yourself worthy. I need people in my corner that I can trust. And who will never ever double cross me. If you ain't runnin with me, you should be runnin from me. (shout out to Kelly Kel for being my ride or die)
  • Feelings. I hate them. Sometimes I wish I didn't have them. They make me do stupid shit. Shit that's out of character for me. I usually regret things that I do based on feelings. I may never learn.
  • Being told. Really just being told anything in general pisses me off. Even if you're right and I'm wrong, I don't wanna fucking hear it. Don't tell me what to do. Don't tell me what not to do. Don't even make suggestions.
  • The bathroom stall at work that always locks me in! Why can we not get this fucking thing fixed? I feel like its evil like the car on that move Christine. I'm convinced that it wants to trap me and kill me somehow. It's a conspiracy.
  • Anxiety!!! This shit has been at an all time fucking high lately! No joke there have been at least 6 days in the past two weeks when I legitimately felt like I was gonna straight up just die. Like my heart was gonna beat so hard it would explode. Oh and speaking of anxiety, if you know what causes my anxiety and you still send me that shit, or insist on talking about it to me or around me.... FUCK YOU! It's fucking mean! Really mean! You're an asshole if you do it.
So that's pretty much it for today. I mean there are the usual everyday pisser offers like traffic, and cops, and people in Cherry Creek. I've kind of learned to maintain with these ones on a count of I have to deal with them quite often. Ay, lets hope I'm in a better mood tomorrow. If I don't snap out of it, I may or may not real life physically hurt someone. Oh and also if I say some mean shit to you today, pretty much deal with it.

You're the one that I quit the game for...

Time to stay in your lane

Ay, new shit that we've all been waiting for. Latenite Entertainment & Radiobums present Spoke-N-Words "Power of Wordz" album. This 5280 compilation brings together pound cee-oh hip hop's finest.
The release party will be held next weekend at Cassleman's. See you motherfuckers there!

Oh and here's a little tease for ya ;)

voweless

If you haven't downloaded this new BLK HRTS shit, you're a fucking fool! Shit is straight money! Not that it's a surprise, everything these dudes put out is murder on a plate.  Not to mention that Yo and FOE are two of my favorite fucking humans ever! So consider it Gen approved! Pow!

"let that bitch breathe"

I'm here to...

They rule everything around you

Whats better than seeing the Wu Tang Clan live? Seeing the Ru Tang Clan live! Yep, an all female Wu cover show! Whaaaaaaat?! Guaranteed these bitches ain't nothin to fuck with!
Honestly I don't have to say too much about this event, on a count of it speaks for itself. Some of my all time favorite bitches are part of this project. So no doubt it'll be fucking fire! Don't fucking miss it!

suckas stare but I don't care

Apparently thugs have waaaay too much time on their hands these days! Some dude from Harlem recently invented "Subs", which are basically garter belts for gangstas. It's a belt that allows you to sag your drawers without losing them. Another solution to this problem could be to simply pull your motherfucking pants up. But that seems too simple right.
You too can own Subs for the low low price of $29.95. You do however run the risk of getting punched straight in the face for being a pussy. But if that's a risk you're willing to take, you can order them here.
In my opinion, garter belts are for ladies and not for gangstas. You'd never catch OG Tookie Williams rocking some shit like this. Bet!

I prefer garter belts to look more like this... Just sayin.

Thursday I don't care about you

Feels like I'm walking on sunshine!

Haha ok, so the post title is a quote from my fav episode of Intervention. Although I'm pretty sure the producers did not intend for this series to be a comedy, gawd damn some of the episodes crack me up. Especially the one with the girl that huffed air duster. WTF? Who even thinks up that shit? Apparently huffing air duster makes you feel like you're "walking on sunshine". Oh and it makes you mad crazy, and ugly, and pale. I'm positive I'll never get addicted to that! Oh and have you seen that addiction show where that bitch was eating toilet paper?! How does an addiction like that even start? (Ok sidebar: I have eaten toilet paper once in my life, or maybe it was a paper towel, I can't remember. But let me assure you there was a really good reason for it, and it resulted in an amazing, unforgettable night. Oh, and Jenna did it too so judge her as well) Anyway my point is, people these days have some seriously fucked up addictions.
I think all of my addictions are pretty much normal. Here's a list! (I know you missed the lists)These are in no particular order. Oh you should also know that I consider them addictions based on the fact that I NEED to have them pretty much on a daily basis. And I sometimes freak out if I don't.
  • Chapstick - I may or may not die without it. I have spare tubes stashed everywhere.
  • Lip gloss - To go on top of my chapstick. Duh. I think most girls are addicted to lip gloss. At least the glossy bitches I run with anyway.
  • Echo Kisses - Ok, I don't usually require them daily. But if I find myself thinking about them I pretty much need them immediately! Echo kisses never ever disappoint.
  • Soda Pop - I've tried to quit, and I can't. I just can't.
  • Hand Sanitizer - It's kind of a problem. I don't eat it or do weird shit with it. I just rub it on my hands. But I feel like I do it all day long! If I see it, I feel like It's a sign that I need to use it.
  • Painting My Nails - I feel like a new polish color everyday is necessary. I wish it didn't take so long to do tho. I need one of those things in Total Recall that just changes your nail color all fast. Someone invent that shit in real life asap. Thanks
  • Jonny Brasko - Nuff said.
  • Candy!!! - OMG I'm like a fucking 3 year old! I keep boxes of candy in my desk, car and all over my house. The other day I got so excited to have Mike & Ikes that I spilled them all over my car. I kind of wanted to cry a little. Om nom nom om nom.
  • Love - Eh, you know what it is. I think we're all a little addicted to it. It's still up for debate whether or not it's a good addiction or a terrible one.
  • The Interweb - I'm pretty much on it all the fucking time. It's sad, I need to break this bad habit like rightfuckingnow! Excluding blogging of course.
All in all, not too bad. It could be a lot worse, I could be addicted to crack, or sucking my thumb. So there's a few items that I'm gonna work on, but for the most part I'm ok with my addictions. I own them, they don't own me.

Cause my papa bear said so!

Um yeah believe it or not, my parents did not name me The General. Crazy right? I do have an official government name, and no it's not fucking Jen! It's Angel, cause I am one duh... Ok well lets just say my parents were kinda hopeful when they named me. And technically it's Angelita, but growing up none of my wonder bread ass teachers could ever seem to get it right. So we whitened it up and went with Angel. I'm wit it tho, I couldn't see myself having any other name I suppose. Well except for maybe The General, Gen Boogie, Your Highness, and of course my favorite... Mom.
OK, so here's a tip. If you ever meet someone named Angel (including myself), please keep the angel eyes, angel baby, and "are you really an angel?" dumb fuck comments to yourself. They are not impressive, funny, original, nor will they get you kissed.... ever. I was pretty much over the "angel" references when I was like 6.
Now being named Angel isn't all bad... I mean so many amazing musicians have written songs about me. Yup that's right any song with Angel in it, is most likely about me. Even the ones that were written before I was born. (fuck you it's my world and I'll believe whatever I want. word)
So in honor of my extra dope, slightly altered government name, here are my top five favorite songs about me. Trust me there are a lot more than five, but it's late so that's all you're getting.  Oh also if someone could get on making more songs about The General, that'd be great too. Thanks

#1 Angel - The Game feat. Common
#2 Angel - Shaggy
#3 Angel Baby - Rosie & The Originals
#4 Earth Angel - The Penguins
#5 Pretty Little Angel Eyes - Curtis Lee

So theres this girl...

Ok, so if you're wearing socks you may as well just take them off now. If not they're just gonna get knocked off anyway. Fair warning.
In my career as a makeup artist, I have had the pleasure of working with some of the most amazing models and photographers. And believe that I've had my fair share of complete fuck bags as well. Guess it kinda comes with the job. Whatevs. But every once in a while you cross paths with someone extra special. Someone who you truly connect with and who shares your vision and passion. Ladies and gentleman, I give you Iman Woods, pinup artist extraordinaire! What this woman does is beyond amazing. She can capture the true beauty in anyone you put in front of her camera. Iman's art goes far beyond photography, in fact the camera is her second favorite medium. Her background is in oil painting. Now, lots of people consider themselves "painters" but very few can be considered artists. Her hand painted pinups are absolutely breathtaking down to the very smallest detail. I have never in my life seen such beautiful pieces of art.
I am so blessed to be working with Iman. She helps women see the true beauty that's been inside them all along. This is one of the main reasons I got into the makeup industry to begin with.
So, not only am I an employee of Iman Woods Creative, but I'm also a super satisfied client! Here's a few flix from a shoot Iman and I did a while back. Hopefully an oil painting of my face will be coming soon too!
Yeah, time to get barefoot motherfuckers!

Deuces

Ay, so it’s 2011. Word the fuck up for that! 2010 was a fucking raper! I wish I could kick it straight in the face! But I suppose it didn’t kill me, so you know what that means…. I'm not dead. Ha. Oh yeah and I'm stronger. So every year I make this list filled with all this shit that I feel like I should accomplish over the next year. Some of it I handle, most of it I don’t. So this year I'm gonna just keep all that shit to myself, thataway if I fail, I’ll be the only one who knows it. This is an amazing plan, fuck you if you don’t think so!

So really then all you should know is that 2011 will bring out the baddest in me. I promise not to disappoint. I got my head right, and I got some solid motherfuckers behind me. This year will be about healing and conquering. And if necessary breaking faces. I will do it all with a smile on my face and stilettos on my feet. So get ready eleven you're about to get fucked!