Strap Up Bitches

Ok, so mostly I hate condoms on a count of they feel, smell, and taste fucking terrible (And no, I don't go around putting condoms in my mouth. But you know. like after you touch one, then somehow that same hand ends up in your mouth. Don't act like you don't know what the fuck I'm talking about either!). Anyway, you'd think I'd LOOOOOVE condoms on a count of I hate babies so much. Not to worry, I take mad precaution! I generally prefer to use the pull & pray method. Seems to working so far. (fuck I hope I didn't just jinx that shit)
Well these condoms are a little different, and waaay more glamorous than your ordinary Trojan. They are condoms for your stilettos! They offer serious protection from diseases that unfortunately a lot of bitches are infected with these days. These diseases include but are not limited to: BBS also known as Basic Bitch Syndrome, CFDD Can't Fucking Dress Disorder, and WAFD Wack As Fuck Disease. These conditions are unfortunately spreading like wildfire! I see infected hoes everywhere! Symptoms include wearing the same outfit every fucking weekend, biting someone elses steez, showing skin to make up for your lack of style and creativity.
So these heel condoms are a great method of prevention! Not only are they glam as fuck, there are so many different styles that you'll be sure to find something that fits your swagg exactly! They just slip over your heel, and your foot holds them in place. They're compatible with stilettos of any height, so you can switch them from pair to pair. And they are reasonably priced, so really there's no excuse.
Here are a few of my favorite designs. Keep yourself covered ladies, cop your protection here.
 

Gen PSA: Everybody should have safe sex, lots and lots and lots of safe sex. If you're not gonna use a condom, use something. Seriously... babies are fucking awful. Oh, and I hear STDs are pretty gnarly too. Word.

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