text me

Man the people in my life are hilarious and extra super legit, myself included. As I sit here in my hotel room, waiting for my phone to ring, I decided to scroll thru all my texts. Here are a few of the gems I came across. I'll do everyone a favor and keep the senders info to myself. Even tho I know you're dying to know...
  • "I shaved my legs in the sink tonight and rocked a skirt with no panties #whorebathtestimony"
  • "Oh I'll straight murk that bitch. You already know"
  • "Here's the incriminating pic bwaahahaha"
  • "He's like a girl, but worse"
  • "LOL! Fingerbang sessions?" reply: "yeah like Jr. High!!"
  • "I'd make a terrible rapper! I'd make an amazing raper tho!!"
  • "Is it hot in ur room?"
  • "I've been going underwear-less too lately" reply: "They're kinda pointless really"
  • "Anything anytime for you"
  • "Ask me who just got nailed in the face with a fucking baseball!"
  • "I don't know whos dumbfuck idea it was to name them softballs. I can assure you they're not soft at all"
  • "I like to push on my eye when it's bruised. Are you touching it?" 
  • "If you want I'll push on it for you"
  • "I'm 86% sure you just declined my call"
  • "What is ur last name? It wouldn't accept The General"
  • "Ask me who forgot to wear panties and got patted down and xray scanned"
  • "I love that booty"
  • "I wanna shake the shit outta you sometimes"
  • "I love you more than you will ever know Angel"
  • "Hi mama bear! Wacha doin"
  • "Somehow I think this delay is ur fault"
  • "You blogged your face off! I like it when you blog. #thegensbiggestfan"
  • "Have fun today baby!" "I whill, I whill have fun!"

1 comment:

GrittyVelvet said...

So about 3 or 4 of those are mine! Hahahah!!!