Best Texts of the week

Here are the winning texts straight from my iPhone for your viewing pleasure. Names will be kept private, on a count of my friends may or may not kill me if I don't.

"You are a rare rose among a shit load of carnations"
"Did you want to watch the earth start to erupt together..... or?"
"Did you get rapied by any strippers yet?" -> "Not yet"
"You just make me laugh foo" "Why! Like I'm funny? Like a clown?" ""Nooo everything u say i picture coming out in ur little voice"
"Don't worry people in Germany are still alive and their like 20 hours ahead of us"
"I got hoes in different area codes"
"Ok here's what you do... you play cool, pretend you love each one the same. Make them talk to each other. Keep your cool"
"Oh man! Have you ever got cum in your eye? It hurts so bad! What do I do? Help Me!!!" "Hahahahahahahaa use a q-tip! Bwaaahahahaha"
"Hi hita. Just wanted u to know that I love u with all my heart!" Are you telling me this cos the world is ending?" "Yes/no"
"You looked so fucking amazing up there last night. It made me proud just to know you. You truly are the most beautiful girl in the world" "Ummm thanks... Who is this?"
"I was just sitting here thinking about how hilarious your gigantic timbs looked sitting next to all my size 5 baby shoes at the bottom of the stairs!"
"I love you Boodra"
"Why do all these motherfuckers gotta be throwin salt in my game?!"
"I love you back Gen and secretly look up to you :)" "I won't tell anyone!"
"My barbers outta town, so I look like a combination of Teen Wolf and a terrorist"

Me and my people are so fucking hilarious! We need a reality show for real!

1 comment:

GrittyVelvet said...

I know which ones are mine! And I love it!