I'm not bossy, my ideas are just better than yours.


Because I like telling people what to do so much, I decided to put it in list form. Duh. And yes, I am the boss of you. So I broke the should and should not list down into one list for the chicks and one for the dicks. Please be advised that these are mere guidelines, and by guidelines I mean my opinion, and by my opinion I mean you pretty much should fucking do what I say.

CHICKS:
Should: Respect other females. There are a few exceptions to this rule, but for the most part, it's black and white.
Should Not: Take off your heels and walk around in public. Seriously I don't care how fucking bad your feet hurt, or how hammered you are. This is not a good look... ever.
Should: Own a push up bra. Nuff said.
Should Not: Holler at dudes with girlfriends and/or wifeys. It's not ok, not ever. That's some shit that'll get you cut.
Should: Shave it and/or wax it. Either way keep it hairless.
Should Not: Copy another females steez. It's seriously so fucking pathetic, and I guarantee you whoever you're biting off of, sees what you're doing and is laughing at you.
Should: Go commando sometimes. Panties are fun too, but commando is where it's at. Trust me.
Should Not: Waste your time on someone who does not deserve slash appreciate you.
Should: Put a little twist in your hips cos he's watching. He loves it... ask Tupac.
Should Not: Chew your nails. It's fucking disgusting.
Should: Make amends. Even if it's against your better judgement.
Should Not: Have eyebrows that damn near cover your forehead. I don't give a motherfuck what Cosmo, Allure or Glamour says, that shit is not fucking cute!! And no, just because you comb them neatly does not make it ok. Buy yourself a pair of tweezers and handle your fucking biz!
Should: Be a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. Not vise versa.
Should Not: Hold on to the past. Don't do it. Let go.

DICKS:
Should: Pull your motherfucking pants up over your ass. I promise you sagging is not fucking attractive.
Should Not: Leave your girl unattended with your cell phone. Especially if you've been lying to her. Which most of you usually are.
Should: Handle man business, like taking out the trash and putting gas in the tank and shit like that. Handle it.
Should Not: Cheat. Duh. If you have any desire at all to talk to slash fuck with females other than your shorty, do both of you the favor and just end it.
Should: Love your mama, like super hard all the time. There's something sexy about a boy who loves his mama.
Should Not: Punch your girl while she's sleeping. It's mean.
Should: Be humble. Huge egos are not where it's at. Having a big head will not make everyone love you, in fact it will do the exact opposite. Humble = sexy.
Should Not: Be jealous, it pushes people away. If she's with you, she's with you for a reason. Don't ruin it with jealousy.
Should: Take care of your fucking kids! (if you have em)
Should Not: Let one single day go by without telling your girl shes the most amazing ever. For those who don't have a girl, look for one who makes you feel this way. Word.
Should: Smell good. Do whatever it takes. Nothing sexier than a man who smells good.

Obviously my list for chicks is a bit longer on a count of I am a chick. Like I said this is just the way I think shit should go down. But if you find yourself doing or not doing something that I've suggested.... you should really think about that shit cos I'm usually right. Either way... you're welcome.

2 comments:

Pretty Girl Swag said...

I would like to tell you I FUCKING LOVE YOU for this! Pow Bitches...

The General said...

Thank you darling! I call it like I see it!