fuck owff

list time motherfuckers.
  • I'm convinced that every white, windowless van on the road has a dead body in the back. If I was a murderer (which I'm totally not) I would never put my bodies in a white windowless van. That shit like screams "pull me over I'm such a murderer slash raper slash kidnapper!" I'd put my bodies in some sorta pimp ass SUV, cos it still says "I'm super bad ass and could possibly be a murder, but I obviously have a bunch of class". That's exactly how that shit would go down.
  • I heart the price of gold.
  • I should have degree in procrastination. That should totally be a real thing. I would get an A so hard in procrastination class.
  • Middle school girls are slutty. I don’t remember being that slutty when I was in middle school. Well at least not till like the end of middle school.
  • Am I the only one who doesn’t really give a fuck about Beyonce’s baby? Seriously who cares.
  • I cry every single time I watch The Notebook. I’ve seen it 18 times. It’s a great fucking move. “Say I'm a bird.”
  • On a scale of 1-10 my British accent is like a 9.5. It’s so life-like on a count of I watch mad Harry Potter movies.
  • Zozobra is next week, we’re gonna burn him so much! He’s gonna be all “ahhhhhhh nooooo don’t burn be bro!!!” And we’re gonna be all “fuck you Zozobra we don’t even care!” It’s gonna be the best.

No comments: