I pee sitting down.
Over the past 5 weeks or so, I've been incredibly perplexed by the goings on in the ladies bathroom here at work. I have walked into a stall on numerous occasions to find the lid to the toilet seat up. Similar to the way the boys in my house leave it post piss. Now, seeing as though I'm in the LADIES room, you can understand my confusion. Ladies pee sitting down. Now, I'm not a complete idiot, I know that when the toilets are cleaned sometimes the seats are all left up. Which I have seen when using the bathroom first thing in the morning. I have confirmed that our cleaning service does not clean the toilets midway thru the day. (yes I fucking confirmed it, because I am trying to get to the bottom of this mystery)
So the way I see it, there is a man of some kind infiltrating the 4th floor ladies room. I'm guessing it's maybe a man dressed like a woman, on a count of I don't think a man dressed like a man would just waltz into the ladies room and piss mid-day, but who knows motherfuckers are strange.
So if it is a man/man using the ladies toilets, please take your penis and bad manners next door to the men's room. If it is a man disguised as a lady, they should know that to properly pull off this deceitful charade, it would be in your best interest to sit down when you pee on a count of forward facing feet will always raise suspicion. If you cannot manage the tuck & pee, then please use your fucking lady manners and put the toilet seat down. This has been a public service announcement.