Checking it twice.

Not like a list of shit that I want for Christmas, but a Christmas kinda themed list. With some other bullshit mixed in. pow.

1. I saw on the news this morning that some zombie monster dolls are like the most popular toy this year for Christmas. This makes my heart happy.

2. I'm pretty much a G when it comes to wrapping gifts. Ask about me.

3. They say you're suppose to be nicer during this season. They should say, tis the season to act fucking smarter. I won't be so mean when people aren't so fucking dumb.

4. I think it's funny how people always ask you what you want for Christmas, and so you tell them and they get you something completely fucking different. Why even ask?

5. Hat party Christmas dinner is the most fucking legit thing ever. There's nothing better than watching ma dukes and papa bear sitting at the table enjoying Christmas dinner while rocking a generals hat and a banker visor.

6. All Christmas/Holiday parties should include some form of alcoholic beverage. No exceptions should be made to this rule. ever.

7. We always eat tamales on Christmas. Here is my mother's theory as to why:
              Mom: Why do Mexicans have tamales for Christmas?
              Me: Why?
              Mom: So we have something to unwrap.
My mom is fucking hilarious. Now you know.

8. When you attempt to type "hito" into an iPhone, it auto completes to Hitoshi. I have no fucking idea what that means but I now call my nephew Hitoshi. We just go with the flow.

9. Lady brought her daughter into work today she's like 7 or some shit. So this other lady is like "Have you been a good girl this year so Santa will visit?" The little girl says "Yeah mostly". So I said to the little girl "Sweetheart, I've been naughty pretty much every year since I was 12 and every year there's presents for me under the tree. Don't believe the hype." I'm pretty sure she won't be bringing her daughter around me ever again.

10. I've now been sick for about 3 weeks straight. I thought being a Mexi made me immune to this shit. I was wrong.

11. I'm never going to win the football pool, ever.

12. There is no substitute for spending quality time with your girls. None. Can you hear me bitch?

My kinda Christmas carols

This track rocks my world. Where were you in 1987?


And this one.... woah. Ya'll already know Eazy does it! "Over the hills I go, laughing at these hoes"


Fuckin Snoop. This is def the kinda Christmas I'm fixin to have. A pimp Christmas. Duh.

Best Christmas cards ever.

Don't be surprised if some of you get one of these in the mail next year! 

Because we all need a little therapy....

And to be honest some of you need more than others... Just sayin.
But for those of you who can't afford a shrink, here's the next best thing.
The latest release from Fresh Breath Committee, Group Therapy proves to be mad therapeutic. Soothing the ears and soul simultaneously. But don't let the album title fool you, it's not made up of a bunch of cry baby ballads. There are more than a few bangers on this EP that are sure to penetrate your ears and leave you feeling completely satisfied.
Rumor has it that FBC is grinding hard as ever in the studio these days, so lets hope to see a fuck ton of content released in 2012.
Oh, and my fav track on the album is probably Shinin' Stars on a count of Chiefa's singing does something special to me...

What comes after plan A?

I recently had the opportunity to work with artist and friend Myke Charles on his latest music video project Plan B! Fresh off of NBC's The Sing Off, Myke is right back on his hustle. I really liked working on this video because the nature and substance of it is a bit dark. And I myself am a bit dark. Not that I don't love booty shakin' videos, but there's a bazillion of them. Dude has mad talent and is mosdef on his way to the top! Be sure to check his website for his latest releases, downloads and projects. Word.
Here's the video for your viewing pleasure, you can peep my makeup work throughout the piece. You're welcome.

sextape

This is where you'll need to be tonight. Do not miss this! Pow!

Retro ho ho

My Minion isn't like normal kids, hes better. He's into the coolest shit. I'm so glad I don't own one of those video game kids! For real!
So for my Minion, who is different. I'm taking him to this Retro Holiday Film Festival this weekend! He will love it! It's at the Esquire Theatre with midnight showings.

Yo Yo Yo Merry Christmas!!

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the casa, the air was filled with the smell of fresh masa.

Though it was not much, it was all that they had and for Christmas this year the outlook was bad.

Mama y Papa had no money for toys, no dolls for las ninas, no bikes for the boys.

The famila prayed, then went off to bed, for they were just grateful for the roof on their heads.

They woke the next morning to a knock on the door. It was Cholo Clause and his vatos, x4!

See Cholo Clause does not sneak in to leave presents, where he comes from that will get you arrested. The children were excited and most of all shocked, to see Cholo Clause and his low rider dropped.

“Feliz Navidad!” He shouted with cheer! “We’ve brought you some presents and a case of cold beer! “

La familia was so grateful and so happy, there was gifts for each child y Mama y Papi!

As Clause left the casa and pulled closed the door, you could hear him shout at his vatos x4. “Andale vatos there’s more toys to deliver!” So they jumped in the ride all shiny and silver.

Cholo Clause left with his homies, and drove out of sight. For each family they visited…. Christmas was alright.

So let’s not forget Cholo Clause is legit, but all of these gifts he needs help to get. So if you’re a fan, please give what you can, for we all deserve Christmas every woman and man. Cholo Clause resides with The Casuals of course, so holler at us if you’d like to support!
This is the kinda shit my friends send me pretty much on a daily basis. My friends are better than your friends. This is hilarious on so many different levels.