Checking it twice.

Not like a list of shit that I want for Christmas, but a Christmas kinda themed list. With some other bullshit mixed in. pow.

1. I saw on the news this morning that some zombie monster dolls are like the most popular toy this year for Christmas. This makes my heart happy.

2. I'm pretty much a G when it comes to wrapping gifts. Ask about me.

3. They say you're suppose to be nicer during this season. They should say, tis the season to act fucking smarter. I won't be so mean when people aren't so fucking dumb.

4. I think it's funny how people always ask you what you want for Christmas, and so you tell them and they get you something completely fucking different. Why even ask?

5. Hat party Christmas dinner is the most fucking legit thing ever. There's nothing better than watching ma dukes and papa bear sitting at the table enjoying Christmas dinner while rocking a generals hat and a banker visor.

6. All Christmas/Holiday parties should include some form of alcoholic beverage. No exceptions should be made to this rule. ever.

7. We always eat tamales on Christmas. Here is my mother's theory as to why:
              Mom: Why do Mexicans have tamales for Christmas?
              Me: Why?
              Mom: So we have something to unwrap.
My mom is fucking hilarious. Now you know.

8. When you attempt to type "hito" into an iPhone, it auto completes to Hitoshi. I have no fucking idea what that means but I now call my nephew Hitoshi. We just go with the flow.

9. Lady brought her daughter into work today she's like 7 or some shit. So this other lady is like "Have you been a good girl this year so Santa will visit?" The little girl says "Yeah mostly". So I said to the little girl "Sweetheart, I've been naughty pretty much every year since I was 12 and every year there's presents for me under the tree. Don't believe the hype." I'm pretty sure she won't be bringing her daughter around me ever again.

10. I've now been sick for about 3 weeks straight. I thought being a Mexi made me immune to this shit. I was wrong.

11. I'm never going to win the football pool, ever.

12. There is no substitute for spending quality time with your girls. None. Can you hear me bitch?

1 comment:

jack kuruk said...

number 9 in ruuthless