Ran with a local crew and had a smoke or two

WTF!!? This shit looks sooo dope!! Denver skate crew DTS is premiering their skate video this month! I love these videos so much, the music in them is always so ill. These dudes go hard as fuck. And the fact that this shit is local makes it even better! I cannot wait to see the full length feature!
The video premiere will be Saturday December 29th at Bobbo Warehouse. This event has some major big name sponsors. You know motherfuckers like DC Shoes, and KR3W do not put their name anything that isn't really really fucking berries.
Here is the flyer so you know where the fuck you need to be:

And here is a teaser to hold you over.

I just wanna party

I'm The General, and I'm the only one who parties. I'm going to party here, on Saturday. You should too.

New old shoes

So, something I've learned from my boo is that apparently sneakers namely retro Jordans are fairly serious business to a lot of people. This shit is new to me. Apparently people have been killed, trampled, and even raped for these sneakers!! (ok maybe not raped, I added that for dramatic effect, but you get the idea.) So when he asked for the Jordan XI's for Christmas, I thought... no problem. Then I learned that they were not to be released until 12/21/12, still seemed somewhat easy. Well with a little more research I learned that it's not nearly as easy as going to the store on the release date and buying the shoes. They have a fucking lottery system, yeah. WTF right? So being the amazing girlfriend that I am, I spent my weekend visiting nearly every shoe store in this fucking state and collecting tickets for my chance to buy (not win...buy) a pair of these fucking things! Apparently if you're lucky enough to have your ticket pulled, they call you and allow you to pay them $190 for a pair And no, they are not made of any kind of precious metal or gemstone or any shit like that, I asked. People are seriously crazy as shit when it comes to these shoes, and Michael Jordan is laughing his billionaire ass all the way to the bank. Well played MJ, well played.
Anyway my fingers are crossed and I hope they call. Baby's been moderately good this year and I think he deserves them. This is what the winning tickets look like (positive thinking)

Jones!!!!

Rumor has it this mixtape is pretty dope. You sould download it and see if that's true.






Pin-Up Pretty

This lady painted me! She is amazing! And I love her! And she just so happens to be running a special on her amazing paintings! You should have one of your face! This is hanging in my dining room. Yes.
www.imanwoods.com

Two girls one punch

This made me laugh hard. This video reminds me of a friend I use to have. Although she was really really good at starting fights, she herself had never actually been in one. Which was fine cos I had her back anyway.

Min-Mouth

Also since I've been gone, I've allowed my son to say a few select curse words. I kinda figured if they can say them on TV then why not, right? Now I don't remember exactly when I started cussing, but I def didn't do it in front of the rents! I'da caught an ass whooping quick.
Honestly this has been one of my more entertaining and hilarious parenting decisions. I've learned that with a limited roster of allowable curse words, Minion is forced to be more creative when cursing. He puts together the most inventive sentences simply to incorporate his new words!
These are currently his permitted curse words:
Piss: Because it's not really that bad of a word.
Dick: Because he owns one, and thus should be permitted to say so. Also penis is a creepy word I think.
Ass: Also because he owns one. And I suppose one could argue the whole donkey thing. Whatevs.
Shit: Well just because...
So with these five words, he creates thee most colorful sentences. And I'm not gonna lie, I'm kinda proud. And fuck, I'm well aware that I'll never win mom of the year or any shit like that, but all in all I've raised a smart, talented, good hearted, respectful kid. So I'm pretty much winning.
I lied... I got some new ink while I was gone. Before you judge this ugly little thing, you should know her story:
This one is for my Grandma May. She carried this ugly little doll with her to bingo, she said it brought her good luck. When she was too old to go to bingo the little doll sat on a ledge in her kitchen and watched over all of us as we laughed, cried, yelled and shared meals. After she passed no one know what happened to the doll, it seemed to have disappeared. I like to think that she took it with her and now they're both watching over us. I was lucky enough to find this picture of the doll, and thanks to the talent of my amazing best friend Zebediah, I will now carry her doll and her memory with me forever. Pure gold.
Hi, I'm back. Partially cos I have some shit to say and partially cos a few motherfuckers requested my return. So since it's been a while, let me update you on what's new in my world.

Absolutely fucking nothing.

Consider yourself updated. You're welcome.