I'm Back.... and a lot has happened

Well it's been roughly 3 years since I've blogged. Not because I haven't had a bunch of shit to say, but because I've been busy living. Hopefully you've missed my bullshit as much as I've missed giving it to you. So to recap, here is a list of important and not so important shit that has happened in the last three years.

  • Minion completed his freshman, sophomore and half of his junior years of HS, and as you probably guessed he fucking killed it.  He had a few birthdays and is now 16 (and 1/2) and has grown to a whopping 6'4". Seriously... WTF right?
  • I celebrated 16, 17 and almost 18 years with the company I worked for. The president of the company retired and the owner hired a new fancy CEO. The new fancy CEO hired all of his fancy friends and proceed to pay themselves hundreds of thousands of dollars until they completely sucked the company dry and we went bankrupt. We all lost our jobs and thousands of students lost their education. Basically, a complete shitshow to say the least. 
  • My nephew and his baby momma welcomed a beautiful baby girl, who's already two but has the cheeks of a seven year old. They named her Violet Jae Sanchez. I call her Violent Jay because its way more hardcore. She likes Frozen and gymnastics and Nacho Libre is her favorite movie. She's a g. I wish I got to see her liddo face more often, but those are the breaks. 
  • My niece graduated from HS started college and then got knocked up. Basically followed in my footsteps because obviously I'm stellar at bad life choices that somehow turn into the biggest blessings!  Enter... Roman Ezekiel Mondragon! He was born on January 16, 2016 and had 2 beautiful big blue eyes, 10 long fingers, and 11 perfect toes. He has since had one of those toes removed and is down to 10 just like the rest of us (wah wah). We've nicknamed him Alexander Romanuf, Beans, EZ, Rome and a bunch of other shit. He basically answers to anything which is awesome for my mom since she calls all of us by the wrong names anyway. Oh my neice and her doggy also brought 2 amazing little pups into the world. Rocky and Gizmo (aka Giz Kalifah). She kept Rocky and gave Giz to my parents who basically treat him like a new baby. It's ridiculous.
  • We've laid to rest 6 beloved family members, and one extraordinary doggy.  Strange as it sounds the doggy was the absolute hardest loss of all. Rest in paradise Boons!
  • Both Pops and Ma Dukes officially retired and against ALL of our wishes sold our family home in North Denver and moved to Thornton. They stay home all day with the exception of their weekly bingo adventures and of course my dad's trips to Black Hawk. They haven't killed each other yet...
  • Chief and I are going on 6 years now. So for those of you who doubted us... suck it. 
  • I had a few birthdays, and a whole bunch of botox. I look amazing.
  • We lost an amazing President, had a ridiculous election, and somehow got stuck with a complete degenerate. He basically legalized racism, stripped women of some basic human rights, wrecked a bunch of sacred land, and really really pissed off the rest of the world (except Russia of course). All in a days work. Still waiting to wake up from this fucking nightmare.
  • A bunch of legendary musicians died. And somehow society made a bunch of shitty musicians rich and famous. I haven't lost hope though. You shouldn't either. 
  • The Broncos won Super Bowl 50. It was awesome. There was a parade. 
  • And.... Maury helped a bunch of dudes out by letting them know that they were "not the father". 
OK there's a whole bunch of other shit that happened too but ADHD is kicking in and ya'll get the point. I'ma try to keep this shizz updated and hopefully keep you thinking and maybe laughing a little. Word? Word. Stay tuned.

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