The General's Booty

2012-02-09T14:55:00.003-07:00

Oh Devil Doll....

2012-02-08T12:13:00.000-07:00

You read my mind!

Every time you look at me
I see something I don’t want to see
my how you’ve turned into my.....

St. Christopher follow me
St. Christopher follow me
You seem to know the road better than me
St. Christopher don’t dare me ‘cause
Every time you raise your voice
and tell me I don’t have a choice
I’ve packed my bags got one foot out the door
and I won’t take no more....

Yeah You, I’m talkin’ to you
with your fucked up hair and your bad tattoos
yeah you, I’m talkin’ to you
you’ve got it all figured out
know what it’s all about
but will you ever learn to shut your mouth; shut your mouth

Go to touch me, I draw back
You gotta have your way or a heart attack
You’re gonna use me to put yourself on the map
Well I’m not your fuckin’ cadillac

Yeah You, I’m talkin’ to you
with your fucked up hair and your bad tattoos
yeah you, I’m talkin’ to you
you’ve got it all figured out
know what it’s all about
but will you ever learn to shut your mouth; shut your mouth

Can you walk on water like you say
Can you resist temptation for 40 days
Turn water into wine with the tears they sob
I didn’t think so, sit down, let him do his job

Yeah You, I’m talkin’ to you
And all the hell you made me walk thru
Yeah you, I’m talkin’ to you
you’ve got it all figured out
know what it’s all about
Yeah You, I’m talkin’ to you
And all the hell that you put me through
Yeah You, I’m talkin’ to you
you’ve got it all figured out
know what it’s all about
but will you ever learn to shut your mouth.

We're all a bit mad here...

2012-01-27T14:40:00.000-07:00

Do you ever get to a point in your life where you stop and think ... How the fuck did I get here, to this point? This was not my plan.
That's where I am. I'm at that point. I cant quite pinpoint where exactly my direction changed course. But finding my way back to my original path has proven extremely difficult.
Just an update. Carry on.

2012-01-13T10:11:00.000-07:00

Kiss the ring, but never touch the crown...

2012-01-11T12:05:00.001-07:00

I'd like to take a moment to highlight one of the most amazing women on the planet, Iman Woods. Iman is truly one of the most beautiful, talented, strongest, and empowering women that I have been blessed to call a friend. Her light is absolutely immeasurable. What Iman does for women is priceless, and I am so honored and humbled to be a part of it.
Recently Iman celebrated 31 years of life! But really it was everyone who knew her that was actually celebrating the most. I know I was. Every year that I am fortunate enough to spend with Iman as a friend is a cause for celebration if you ask me. So shout out to her Mama, thank you so hard for bringing such an amazing human into this world!
I cannot wait to see what 2012 brings to our little Pin-Up family, I know whatever it is it will be motherfucking fabulous cos that's the only way we know how to do it!
Unfortunately I was unable to make this year's birthday soiree, but if you know Iman you know she does everything big! This year she celebrated in royal fashion throwing a Royal Birthday Ball! There is nothing more appropriate for celebrating Iman's life than a Royal Ball, on a count of she is truly a QUEEN.

Happy Birthday Iman, I love you Mama!

2012-01-06T17:02:00.000-07:00

what's that sound?

2012-01-06T16:14:00.002-07:00

It's the sound of my shoes.

The villians hero

2012-01-06T12:54:00.000-07:00

Mark my words, this dude is gonna do big thangs. Some people have it and some don't. He has it. He has that real shit. Shit to make you feel shit. He's a rookie, but I can already see this motherfucker on top. This is just his freestyle shit. I can't wait to hear his polished studio joints. His words are like a chilled shot of patron, they go down smooth, hit you in the gut and alter your motherfucking state of mind.
So remember his name JacoBRyan, cos he's about to change shit.

"The rap game shot me in the heart like bow and arrow. With all my bone marrow, and all a my strength, I see what I gotta do and I'm conditioned for length."
Sounds from Tuesday night by JacoBRyan

Sounds from Wednesday morning by JacoBRyan

Sounds from Monday night by JacoBRyan

Morange

2012-01-06T12:11:00.000-07:00

It's "Orange Friday", the Mayor said so.... you're welcome.

Not yet

2012-01-05T18:20:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah..... makes sense. Well shit, if we're not actually gonna meet our demise in a 2012 then I have a fuckload of promises I'll have to make good on! Man, I need to quit making those "I'll do it next year if the world doesn't end" promises. Seriously.

via Denver Frank

Shine it up with vaseline

2012-01-05T17:51:00.000-07:00

This bitch is hilarious. I feel like we would be great friends in real life. Peep game.

Shout out to The Diva for always knowing just how to brighten my day!

Minion-a-go-go

2012-01-05T17:43:00.001-07:00

Got my Minion a voodoo doll for Christmas, cos seriously what the fuck else would a kid like mine want?! Needless to say he loved the shit out of it, and I love the shit out of him!

Find out how to cop your own amazing custom voodoo doll here! Pow!

It's Comical

2012-01-05T17:16:00.002-07:00

And so it continues.... Apparently the people over at Marvel Comics think Timmy Tebow is some kinda super hero. Whatever. This shit is outta control if you ask me. Don't get me wrong, I like dude. He has good values and seems to be a decent guy slash quarterback. But seriously, he pulls off a few last minute victories and he's a fucking super hero? Get the fuck out! So many people have forgotten that the Denver Broncos are a pinche football TEAM! It's not a one man show you fucking dummies! When dude can fly, or shoot spider webs then we'll talk. I swear all this Tebow hype is going to fucking jinx us!!

Checking it twice.

2011-12-21T12:39:00.003-07:00

Not like a list of shit that I want for Christmas, but a Christmas kinda themed list. With some other bullshit mixed in. pow.

1. I saw on the news this morning that some zombie monster dolls are like the most popular toy this year for Christmas. This makes my heart happy.

2. I'm pretty much a G when it comes to wrapping gifts. Ask about me.

3. They say you're suppose to be nicer during this season. They should say, tis the season to act fucking smarter. I won't be so mean when people aren't so fucking dumb.

4. I think it's funny how people always ask you what you want for Christmas, and so you tell them and they get you something completely fucking different. Why even ask?

5. Hat party Christmas dinner is the most fucking legit thing ever. There's nothing better than watching ma dukes and papa bear sitting at the table enjoying Christmas dinner while rocking a generals hat and a banker visor.

6. All Christmas/Holiday parties should include some form of alcoholic beverage. No exceptions should be made to this rule. ever.

7. We always eat tamales on Christmas. Here is my mother's theory as to why:
              Mom: Why do Mexicans have tamales for Christmas?
              Me: Why?
              Mom: So we have something to unwrap.
My mom is fucking hilarious. Now you know.

8. When you attempt to type "hito" into an iPhone, it auto completes to Hitoshi. I have no fucking idea what that means but I now call my nephew Hitoshi. We just go with the flow.

9. Lady brought her daughter into work today she's like 7 or some shit. So this other lady is like "Have you been a good girl this year so Santa will visit?" The little girl says "Yeah mostly". So I said to the little girl "Sweetheart, I've been naughty pretty much every year since I was 12 and every year there's presents for me under the tree. Don't believe the hype." I'm pretty sure she won't be bringing her daughter around me ever again.

10. I've now been sick for about 3 weeks straight. I thought being a Mexi made me immune to this shit. I was wrong.

11. I'm never going to win the football pool, ever.

12. There is no substitute for spending quality time with your girls. None. Can you hear me bitch?

My kinda Christmas carols

2011-12-21T11:48:00.000-07:00

This track rocks my world. Where were you in 1987?

And this one.... woah. Ya'll already know Eazy does it! "Over the hills I go, laughing at these hoes"

Fuckin Snoop. This is def the kinda Christmas I'm fixin to have. A pimp Christmas. Duh.

Best Christmas cards ever.

2011-12-21T11:36:00.000-07:00

Don't be surprised if some of you get one of these in the mail next year!

2011-12-20T12:36:00.001-07:00

Because we all need a little therapy....

2011-12-19T17:59:00.002-07:00

And to be honest some of you need more than others... Just sayin.
But for those of you who can't afford a shrink, here's the next best thing.
The latest release from Fresh Breath Committee, Group Therapy proves to be mad therapeutic. Soothing the ears and soul simultaneously. But don't let the album title fool you, it's not made up of a bunch of cry baby ballads. There are more than a few bangers on this EP that are sure to penetrate your ears and leave you feeling completely satisfied.
Rumor has it that FBC is grinding hard as ever in the studio these days, so lets hope to see a fuck ton of content released in 2012.
Oh, and my fav track on the album is probably Shinin' Stars on a count of Chiefa's singing does something special to me...

What comes after plan A?

2011-12-19T16:31:00.000-07:00

I recently had the opportunity to work with artist and friend Myke Charles on his latest music video project Plan B! Fresh off of NBC's The Sing Off, Myke is right back on his hustle. I really liked working on this video because the nature and substance of it is a bit dark. And I myself am a bit dark. Not that I don't love booty shakin' videos, but there's a bazillion of them. Dude has mad talent and is mosdef on his way to the top! Be sure to check his website for his latest releases, downloads and projects. Word.
Here's the video for your viewing pleasure, you can peep my makeup work throughout the piece. You're welcome.

sextape

2011-12-16T11:05:00.000-07:00

This is where you'll need to be tonight. Do not miss this! Pow!

Retro ho ho

2011-12-14T15:39:00.000-07:00

My Minion isn't like normal kids, hes better. He's into the coolest shit. I'm so glad I don't own one of those video game kids! For real!
So for my Minion, who is different. I'm taking him to this Retro Holiday Film Festival this weekend! He will love it! It's at the Esquire Theatre with midnight showings.

Yo Yo Yo Merry Christmas!!

2011-12-08T13:58:00.001-07:00

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the casa, the air was filled with the smell of fresh masa.

Though it was not much, it was all that they had and for Christmas this year the outlook was bad.

Mama y Papa had no money for toys, no dolls for las ninas, no bikes for the boys.

The famila prayed, then went off to bed, for they were just grateful for the roof on their heads.

They woke the next morning to a knock on the door. It was Cholo Clause and his vatos, x4!

See Cholo Clause does not sneak in to leave presents, where he comes from that will get you arrested. The children were excited and most of all shocked, to see Cholo Clause and his low rider dropped.

“Feliz Navidad!” He shouted with cheer! “We’ve brought you some presents and a case of cold beer! “

La familia was so grateful and so happy, there was gifts for each child y Mama y Papi!

As Clause left the casa and pulled closed the door, you could hear him shout at his vatos x4. “Andale vatos there’s more toys to deliver!” So they jumped in the ride all shiny and silver.

Cholo Clause left with his homies, and drove out of sight. For each family they visited…. Christmas was alright.

So let’s not forget Cholo Clause is legit, but all of these gifts he needs help to get. So if you’re a fan, please give what you can, for we all deserve Christmas every woman and man. Cholo Clause resides with The Casuals of course, so holler at us if you’d like to support!

2011-12-08T11:22:00.000-07:00

This is the kinda shit my friends send me pretty much on a daily basis. My friends are better than your friends. This is hilarious on so many different levels.

2011-12-05T17:48:00.002-07:00

Bad misses throwin blackberry kisses

2011-11-29T16:34:00.001-07:00

Marilyn Manson and I would like to take a minute to thank MAC Cosmetics for the one day only re-release of thier Black Knight lipstick! If you didn't order yours on Black Friday well then you're fuck outta luck. Try as they may, no other cosmetic line has yet created a lip color quite like this. I ordered 3 of them on a count of I may never get the chance again! The little goth girl in me is mad excited! And for those of you thinking that black lipstick is only for JNCO jean wearing juggalo kids... peep game. Grrrr baby.

Words with enemies

2011-11-29T16:00:00.000-07:00

You see this? This is complete bullshit! I live in Amuurica and so I speak Amuurican. This is a fucking conspiricy!

2011-11-29T15:53:00.002-07:00

Don't feed the whores

2011-11-29T15:13:00.001-07:00

A list, because it's been too long. Oh and cos no one does it like I does. Fuck off, I'm busy. You don’t know my life.

• I'm so fucking glad those black Friday Target commercials are over. That bitch is just straight up frightening to me. Her whole face just isn't right. Oh and that one where the lady is jamming a ham into a turkey. Motherfuck that one was disturbing! So disturbing we rewound it and watched it like 5 times.

• I do however love that one where the bitches are like “She’s a Black Friday legend. She even named her baby Black Friday” That one is funny! It always reminds me my friend Ebony, she’s totally a Black Friday legend! Although she named her most recent crew member Aubrey, we all know that Aubrey is just Spanish for “Black Friday”.

• Social networking just isn’t what it used to be man. It's either overkill joy and happiness like "OMG I love my life, I shit ponies and rainbows, blah blah" or overkill hate and anger like "You can't trust anyone, even my mom is out to get me, we're all doomed blah blah" oh and of course you have the cock rings on some "Me and my friends are the dopest ever, everyone else is lame, we all jerk each other off blah blah" I rarely log in anymore cos it's pretty much retarded.

• I had my first white Thanksgiving this year. I don’t know what I was expecting, but white Thanksgivings are pretty much just like Mexi Thanksgivings minus the green chile and tamales of course. I foresee many many more white Thanksgivings in my future :)

• I made pumpkin chocolate chip cookies to take to the white Thanksgiving. No one died, so I’d consider that a win.

• MaDukes and Papa Bear officially hate my red hair. Papa says red is for clowns. They’re old school tho. But I'm kinda over it myself, so back to black it is, oh and few extensions couldn’t hurt either. I mean mostly cos it’s hard to whip ma hair back & forth when it’s so short. Duh.

• I'm stoked that Beavis & Butthead are back in rotation! Is it just me, or are they funnier than before? I'm glad my son gets to experience the hilarity too! Even tho most parents would never let their kids watch that shit, I'm not like most parents. Oh not to mention Butt Head may or may not be a complete clone of someone I know *cough*CHIEFA*cough*. Bwaahahaha. No fucking lie bro.

• I will hold my pee forever! I feel like stopping what I'm doing to go potty is such a fucking burden! In fact I have to pee right fucking now as I type this. I wish I could hire someone to go to the bathroom for me. Oh and it does not help that I get locked in the bathroom stalls 32% of the time. I'm gonna be that old lady that just straight up pisses everywhere and doesn’t give a fuck.

• Words with friends is straight up bullshit. They’re tryna convince me that June isn’t a word but Qi is? Get the fuck outta here! What dick for brains is in charge over there? I have never used the word Qi in any sentence in my entire life! I only use this word when I’m losing at words and have no other moves. Pshhh

• Oh also, I'm certain that most of the people I play words with are cheating! These motherfuckers play some words that I’ve never even seen or heard before ever! And mostly I know this cos I'm a genius so I pretty much know every single word ever. Yeah.

• I think it was last year when I revealed to my son that Santa was a sham. We were playing truth or dare and he asked so I told him. Fuck it saves me money.

• Minion asked for a Swiss army knife for Christmas, so being the responsible co-parent that I am, I asked his father. His father said no. Yeah, same father that bought him a Beretta air soft gun for his birthday…. Without consulting me. Still tryna figure out how that’s fair.

• I like surprises. Bring it.

Cos a 90's house party don't stop

2011-11-29T12:18:00.001-07:00

Oh how I love me a house party! Who doesn't right? Obviously if people hated house parties this jam would not be celebrating 3 years! Congrats to my peeps on the 3 year anniversary of the 90's House party!

This edition is for sure gonna be a fucking banger! Bring your faces and your door knockers, and I'll see you there. Boom.

Throw ya dubs up

2011-11-28T10:37:00.001-07:00

Lady Wu is at it again causing a muhfuckin ruckus. Peep the girls latest project, shit is fucking murder. Extra proud of my girls for this one! You already know, these some cooooold ass women right here. My girls are in biz of breaking necks, so you best protect yours.

hungry?

2011-11-27T18:41:00.002-07:00

It's never too late for Brunch! Download it, digest it, love it. Brunch is officially my new favorite meal. Om nom nom om nom. Eat up motherfuckers.

<p>&amp;amp;lt;a href="http://thefoodchain.bandcamp.com/album/brunch"&amp;amp;gt;BRUNCH by The foodchain&amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;gt;</p>

2011-11-27T18:03:00.002-07:00

vote or die

2011-11-27T18:01:00.002-07:00

There's not much time left! Vote your motherfucking asses off!! You can vote 10x per voting method, so tell your friends. Shout out to the homie Purp. Bring that shit home my dude!

Oh and don't forget to watch The Sing Off tomorrow night on NBC.

screen shots

2011-11-22T18:14:00.000-07:00

This is why I love my people. To the moon Alice! To the moon!

Ya ain't ready for it bitch

2011-11-18T10:19:00.001-07:00

Now I'm not a huge fan of the most recent rap releases, even by some of the heavy hitters in the game. It's all been sorta lack luster in my opinion. But there's always something about a voice from the past that takes you back.
So, while being chauffeured to work this morning, my boo had this on the ipod. I listened for a few seconds, and thought to myself that bitch sounds just like Gangsta Boo.... Well duh it totally was! I swear she'd fallen off the face of the earth. And motherfuck it was good to hear her voice! Reminded me of good times with good people. Not to mention Boo fucking preaches on this track, and I swear puts into words exactly what I've been feeling for the last few weeks.

"I see you bitches talkin loud but you ain't sayin shit. Get the fuck from round here you don't rep my shit. You ain't from my city you dont know about this. You don't want that drama, ya ain't ready for it bitch."

Fuckin Gangsta Boo. What can I even say. You already know. Whole track goes hard as fuck. Enjoy.

2011-11-16T20:16:00.002-07:00

2011-11-10T17:13:00.002-07:00

2011-11-09T15:49:00.002-07:00

Extra Fucking Legit

2011-11-09T10:33:00.000-07:00

Shout out to the homie Big Zome on his new video! Shit is good. Has a good feel to it. I always enjoy those kinda "feel good" joints with the hooks that I can bob my head to. It features AVIUS of Prime Element and Julox. And Holy shit I'd never heard Julox before this track! Dude has thee fucking sickest voice ever! He seriously would give Barry White's bass a run for its money! Look for cameos from a bunch of the homies too!
Anyway, congrats on the video Zomer! Keep makin them bangers my dude! Peep game:

So Legit from Zome on Vimeo.

Diamond Boiz

times is changed, life is strange

2011-11-08T12:36:00.000-07:00

Better off Dead

2011-11-04T14:56:00.003-06:00

Ah yes ain't that fresh.
Ok so I know I say "you don't wanna miss this" all the fucking time. So I'll put it like this... YOU CANNOT FUCKING MISS THIS! It's the first ever Dia De Los Muertos party!!! There will be art by the Mile High City's best! Live performances by Mane Rok & DJ Tense, Diamond Boiz, One Eyed Kings, and Kontrast & Fo Chief ♥. Not to mention it's the official video release party for Zome's "Diamond In The Flesh" music video! This shit is gonna be motherfucking berries!! There will be ticket giveaways as well as some special giveaways from Whorebath Clothing!! So paint your faces the best you can and bring your asses to the Funky Buddah this Saturday!! I'm so fucking excited for this!! You really need to be here. Serio.

2011-11-04T10:29:00.002-06:00

Death is Beautiful

2011-11-02T11:41:00.001-06:00

So super proud of my dude Spoke! The long awaited release of his newest album "Beautiful Dead" is here for your listening pleasure. Spoke has been working on this project for a while and it shows. This whole album is murder. The 11 track album includes tracks featuring some of CO hip-hops originals like Infinite Mindz, DJ Chonz, and DJ Psycho, as well as heavy hitters like Yonnas of BLKHRTS.
There is so much happening on this album it's ridiculous, from the hardest of verses to a little R&B slow down for the ladies. I promise you'll love this album, I do.
Peep it here, and do yourself a favor and download yourself a copy.

Oh and yes, that is yours truly on the track list art. Thanks Spoke for allowing me to be part of this amazing project. Amor.

lesson learned

2011-10-28T16:06:00.000-06:00

A few lessons I learned over the last few weeks of my life. Thought I'd share them with ya'll.

A good friend told me this. "Not everyone has the sort of character to do their own thing. Unfortunately, that's pretty much how the masses get down." These words helped me realize that I do have this sort of character, and I'm glad I do. I'm just going to embrace the fact that I am one of the few who posses this trait. I think I spent too much time worrying about the poor souls who do not have the character or creativity to do their own thing, rather than just being glad that I do.
I'd like to apologize to my garage for taking it for granted. This week I remembered just how important it is to me and how much I love it. I promise to sweep it, and keep it clean, and take good care of it on a count of it takes real good care of me.
My Minion Cakes is pretty much my very best friend. He keeps a smile on face and he takes good good care of my heart. He will forever be the only boy I trust with this heart.
I'm an amazing makeup artist. Not to toot my own horn, but toot fucking toot! I actually surprised myself this year. Hard work and years of practice really do pay off. I only hope to get better and better.
The iPhone update is not all that fancy in my opinion. It just added a whole bunch of unnecessary and confusing shit.
I'm a sissy. Yeah, someone told me that this week. I hate all these fucking paranormal evil ass movies on TV this time of year. That shit scares the motherfuck outta me. I refuse to entertain that bullshit and allow it into my home. Now, gimmie a good ol fashion zombie or slasher flick and I'm in. So yeah, as dark and scary as I may seem, I gotta draw the line somewhere. Oh and I don't do haunted houses either.
Going to the gym feels really good. All the boys should prepare themselves to be brought to the yard. (jokes)
Remember when getting down on one knee and thanking the lord was just called praying? Haha I do, it's sad that it has to be trendy for people to do it. Society glorifies the fucking stupidest shit these days.

The darker the better

2011-10-28T11:55:00.000-06:00

A few of my favorite hallofuckingween joints. Enjoy.

And of course.....

It matters...

2011-10-26T16:56:00.000-06:00

Aye finally! Here it is! The much anticipated release from Fo Chief and ProCyse "Nothing Else Matters". 7 originals and 3 bonus tracks to get your deep thinkin on. This shit goes hard, no lie. "On Everything" is prob my fave off of this album. But I guarantee each and every track on this project is deep.
Just goes to show ya, different feels good. Really really fucking good!

So here ya go. Listen, love, load. You're welcome!

keep it really real

2011-10-26T13:35:00.000-06:00

Forgive me. For I have sinned.

2011-10-24T13:25:00.002-06:00

Well if you're from Denver and do not reside under a rock, the you've probably heard that we have a pretty amazing crew repping our city on NBC's The Sing Off. Urban Method is an a capella group based right here in the Mile High City. They are pretty much killing it on the show. Coming in hot every week!
Now don't get me wrong most of the groups on the show are pretty good. I suppose they wouldn't be there if they weren't. But Urban Method posses that secret weapon that their competition cannot touch..... Myke Charles.
Not only does this cat have chords like the best of em but he can spit that fire too! Myke Charles (formerly Purpose of Fresh Breath Committee) is a multi dimensional music mastermind! You gotta have more than one talent these days to stand out from the pack.
So for those of you who didn't know, now you know. Oh and watch him Monday nights on The Sing Off on NBC! Good luck Purp we're rooting for ya fam!
Do yourself a favor and check Myke's latest track Hotel Confessions. You'll be glad you did. And while you're at it peep some of his other music too. I guarantee you'll be a fan!

Hotel Confessions by MykeCharles

Oh and while I'm at it here's my all time favorite joint From Myke featuring the amazing, talanted, extra sexy Fo Chief ;) Peep game!
07 Bonus Track-Cherry Lipstick (ft. Fo Chief) by MykeCharles

can you feel it in your bones?

2011-10-21T12:34:00.000-06:00

October is always without a doubt one of the busiest months in my life. I roll with it tho, on a count of me and October got a thang, ya digg.
So as fall creeps in and Halloween nears, the events and activities get doper! Still not sure how I'm gonna squeeze in everything I wanna do this weekend in between rocking faces.... But I always find a way to make shit happen.
Here's a few events that you should bring your face to. Mine will be there, dead or alive...

The 6th Annual Denver Zombie Crawl!!!!! Maaarrrraaggghhhh!! You already know how I feel about zombies! So of course me and my undead entourage will be all up in this beeotch helping to set that Guinness record! Get dead and then get undead and meet us there motherfuckers!! Oh and my day is already booked solid so you're on your own as far as makeup. Lo siento...

Ok so after I wash all of the brains off, I'll get pretty and put on my blue suedes for the evenings events! This months installment of the always fly Firelily event Paparazzi For The People, features the Mile High City's very own DJ Vajra! Now this event always promises the cream of the crop when it comes to guest DJs, but this motherfucker takes the cake!! He's got the whole wide world in his hands! Yes the fucking world champion.... world champion DJ Vajra. Go ahead and let that marinate for a minute.
If you've never had the pleasure of shaking your ass to Vajra's mix, well all I can say is I'm sorry! Oh and I could never ever leave out the evenings other guest DJs also Mile High favorites. DJ Chonz and Miss Ginger Perry will supply the foreplay for your eardrums before Vajra comes in and fucks them hard. Yeah, I went there.
So if you're up for a good ear fucking, bring your face to Beauty Bar. Mine will be there.

Last but not least you should def find time in you evening to swing by Chances for the homie Big Joe Thunder's birthday party! I'm pretty sure he's turning 21 again! As always he's bringing several of Denver's finest artists to melt your face with live performances! My American Trash familia is in the line up, so you'll def wanna be in the building for that! Stop by, buy Big Joey a shot, or smoke a blunt with him. Either way wish him a happy birthday! Word.

2011-10-19T11:16:00.000-06:00

While engaging in a conversation about a relative who shall remain nameless. The following hilarity ensued. I will never ever get tired of the things this kid says to me. I'm his biggest fan.

Me: "Son, I don't know why she dresses like a boy. Some girls just do that."
Mini: "So is she like woman gay?"
Me: "Huh? Woman gay?"
Mini: (whispering) "Yeah, you know a lesbian."
Me: "Yes son its called lesbian not woman gay."
Mini: "Well I didn't know if I was allowed to say the L word."

PS. I'd like to give a great big fuck you to society for leading our children to believe that a word like lesbian could ever possibly be a bad word!!! SMH

2011-10-17T12:15:00.002-06:00

2011-10-14T15:11:00.003-06:00

It's sad

2011-10-14T15:09:00.000-06:00

2011-10-14T15:06:00.000-06:00

Go to this show tonight. It'll be dope. You already know. Word the fuck up.

2011-10-13T16:41:00.002-06:00

Scare Tactics is probably the most hilarious show ever. Watching people get scared is so motherfucking funny for some reason. Of course it's only funny when it's happening to someone else.

2011-10-13T14:30:00.000-06:00

2011-10-12T16:41:00.000-06:00

There will always be people from your past that refuse to let go. They will ridicule everything you do. They will forever knock your happy. They will be bitter. They will be mean. It is for these reasons that they are in your past.

2011-10-12T15:59:00.002-06:00

2011-10-12T14:34:00.000-06:00

I'm pretty much a G when it comes to kissing.

enrichment

2011-10-12T13:57:00.000-06:00

For those who need to brush up on their zombie. I wonder if Rosetta Stone has a zombie series? If not, they should. Should be a quick and easy read on a count of zombies pretty much only say "braaaainssss" oh and "om nom nom om nom". Word.

2011-10-10T16:45:00.001-06:00

why it's ok to swallow

2011-10-10T12:16:00.003-06:00

Boys,.... you're welcome.

2011-10-07T15:44:00.001-06:00

I'm a motherfucking monster

2011-10-07T12:53:00.000-06:00

All Hallows eve is right around the corner motherfuckers. If you haven't figured it out yet, it's time to start thinking about your costume! And don't make it something stupid either!
As October usually goes, my schedule is booking up with a quickness! So if you need your face rocked it is in your best interest to holler like fucking ASAP!

Oh and for those of you who don't know how I get down.... here's a little reminder:

This is just a sampling of course... whatever you can think of, I can make it happen! For booking email me @ pinuppretty@yahoo.com word.

I'm awesome

2011-10-07T12:10:00.000-06:00

My latest and greatest. Jason. You love it.

Tattoo by Lorenzo Baca

2011-10-07T12:02:00.002-06:00

Put your friday face on hoe

2011-10-07T10:43:00.000-06:00

1. This week has been kind of epic, in a weird sorta way.
2. Concerts on Wednesday nights are just as live as concerts on Friday nights.
3. Steve Jobs is dead. I didn't know him so I'm not really sad. Apparently this makes me a total bitch.
4. I now see the appeal in fuzzy handcuffs. Real ones hurt. But they hurt so good.
5. The month of October is one of my favorites. Not to mention almost completely fucking booked solid.
6. Summer is over. I'm ok with it.
7. I'm head over heels in love with a rapper.
8. I'm currently torn between missing someone and hating them.
9. No one ever pays me in gum.
10. From now on I'm only playing word with people I know I can defeat.
11. Oh and also just a heads up, cunt and June are not recognized words. GTFOH!
12. My son asked me what "doggie style" meant the other day. I told him. Best mom ever.
13. I wear my sunglasses at night. Ok, that's a lie, I usually only wear them in the morning. But I do wear them and that's what's important here.
14. Hank Williams Jr. is going to be really poor really soon.
15. Happy Friday (the original hump day)

First they're sour...

2011-10-06T10:25:00.000-06:00

This is fucking funny to me.

via DenverMade

#truth

2011-10-06T09:59:00.000-06:00

King Gampo

2011-10-05T13:00:00.001-06:00

Saw this dude with Mac Lethal a couple years back. I'm a fan! Can't wait to see him again tonight! He puts on a sick show. Lots of artists have dope studio tracks but their live shows fail. That is not the case for Prof. Go ahead and dig a hole now, cos I guarantee you he's gonna murder it.
If you haven't heard his music, here's a few of my favorite tracks. If you hate it, you're fucking dumb and your ears are broken. Word.

The flier for tonight's show is down below. Be there.

2011-10-05T12:36:00.000-06:00

Come to this show tonight. Unless I hate you, in which case you should stay home.

2011-10-05T12:34:00.001-06:00

While in the car a few weeks back, the people on the radio were discussing camel toe. Mini looked super confused by the whole discussion. Here's why...

Mini: :I don't get what they're talking about."
Me: "That's cos you don't even know what camel toe is."
Mini: "I know what camel toe is!!!"
Me: (in utter shock and disbelief) "What!? How do you know?! Tell me what it is!"
Mini: "I learned it in like 4th grade mom! It's when you wear socks with flip flops."

I wish the innocence of childhood lasted forever... I'm sure that now he's in middle school he'll learn rather quickly what it really means. le sigh.

I see you independent...

2011-10-05T12:06:00.000-06:00

I just saw this the other day. Apparently I was late to the party. But fuck you this shit is hilarious. You're welcome.

2011-09-29T18:02:00.002-06:00

And so it begins....

2011-09-28T10:58:00.000-06:00

Woah... Shout out to Sally Hansen for their new limited edition Halloween Salon Effects designs!
I'm a big fan of the Salon Effects strips on a count of they last forevs and they're super cute! So imagine my excitement when I came across these in a Little Rock Walgreens last week. I tend to have a love for the dark and morbid year round, so Halloween time is without a doubt my favorite time of the year!
I'm real bummed that they're limited edition, but not worry I'm fully stocked up! Here's what we're workin with:

From left to right: Spun For You, Gouhlie Girl, Numbskull, and Wish Nets

Ok, so the Gouhlie Girl and the Numbskull are not really my favs, but fancy nonetheless!

And then we have HOT WIRED.... This one is my absolute fucking favorite ever!!!!!! It is straight money! I am bound and determined to purchase every one in the city! They shoulda named it The General cos I feel like it was made just special for me!

This will no doubt go stunningly with Whorebath's IAMAFUCKINGMONSTER tee. Act like you know. Thanks.

yeah....

2011-09-26T13:53:00.003-06:00

It's like that.

2011-09-13T10:51:00.000-06:00

2011-09-12T14:39:00.000-06:00

September has bragging rights super hard on bringing some of the most talented people into this world. Otis Redding, Joan Jett, Freddy Mercury, Amy Winehouse, Barry White.... need I say more?

Although I'm not really a fan of the month of September, I can say that September has produced some super important people in my life. There are a number of September days that are and always will be very special to me. So shout out to September for bringing some amazing people into this world! And shout out to those special people, I'm so super glad you were born. Love.

stuff you should know

2011-09-02T12:25:00.000-06:00

There's a whole bunch of important shit going down this weekend. I feel like it is my duty to inform the uninformed. You will need to bring your faces to these events. My face is sure to be there. You can thank me when you see me.

Ok, this is tonight.... Urrbody loves art and music, or at least one of the two. If you don't love either your life most likely sucks really bad and you should question your existence. Anyway, this event has both so like I said something for everybody. Fresh Breath Committee will be performing live for 1st Friday at the HoodLab Galleries who is featuring the amazing art of SteevCreeper, not to be confused with Creeper Steve the original creep who is way awesomer than anyone else. Word.

Ok, and this one is Sunday. The famed hood duo 8Ball & MJG will be making a rare Box State appearance at Casselman's. I love them on a count of their music makes me feel super hard core and extra gangsta! I will most likely wear dickies, a rag, and be drinking my malt liquor from the classiest of brown paper bags. And as if 8Ball & MJG aren't reason enough to attend once again Fresh Breath Committee will be blessing the stage with their presence as well. See me there, we'll do the homie handshake. Orale

2011-09-01T15:27:00.001-06:00

come at me bro

2011-09-01T11:43:00.000-06:00

via Denver Frank

#screenshots

2011-08-31T17:01:00.002-06:00

fuck owff

2011-08-31T16:57:00.001-06:00

list time motherfuckers.

I'm convinced that every white, windowless van on the road has a dead body in the back. If I was a murderer (which I'm totally not) I would never put my bodies in a white windowless van. That shit like screams "pull me over I'm such a murderer slash raper slash kidnapper!" I'd put my bodies in some sorta pimp ass SUV, cos it still says "I'm super bad ass and could possibly be a murder, but I obviously have a bunch of class". That's exactly how that shit would go down.
I heart the price of gold.
I should have degree in procrastination. That should totally be a real thing. I would get an A so hard in procrastination class.
Middle school girls are slutty. I don’t remember being that slutty when I was in middle school. Well at least not till like the end of middle school.
Am I the only one who doesn’t really give a fuck about Beyonce’s baby? Seriously who cares.
I cry every single time I watch The Notebook. I’ve seen it 18 times. It’s a great fucking move. “Say I'm a bird.”
On a scale of 1-10 my British accent is like a 9.5. It’s so life-like on a count of I watch mad Harry Potter movies.
Zozobra is next week, we’re gonna burn him so much! He’s gonna be all “ahhhhhhh nooooo don’t burn be bro!!!” And we’re gonna be all “fuck you Zozobra we don’t even care!” It’s gonna be the best.

Real friends

2011-08-31T16:45:00.002-06:00

El Jefe

2011-08-29T15:28:00.001-06:00

I'd just like to take a minute to give an extra special Birthday shout out to one of my favorite cholos ever! This dude is like the Chicano Fonzy, cooler than anyone I know. I asked mini if he had to describe him using one word, what would it be.... Mini said "hero".
Happy birthday Rob!! Thanks for making us part of your familia, and being an amazing role model for my son and all the other little vatos out there! Salute!

2011-08-26T15:58:00.000-06:00

Come to my birthday party tomorrow. All kinds of dope people will be there. It'll be amazing, Duh.

2011-08-19T10:14:00.000-06:00

"I'm in this bitch like my dick hard"

Baby you're gonna be a star!

2011-08-18T14:15:00.000-06:00

Recently had the opportunity to give the Colorado Everyday Show hosts a vintage makeover for a segment they did on the amazing photography of Iman Woods! It was a super fun and humbling experience for sure. peep game bro.

Here is the actual segment that aired.

2011-08-12T10:05:00.000-06:00

This is tonight. Bring your motherfucking faces. Word.

I'll help....

2011-08-10T14:25:00.001-06:00

So as pretty much everyone knows by now, I have a birthday coming up. If you didn't know, fuck you you're stupid. In an effort to assist my friends and lovers with gift selection I'm gonna post some shit that I wouldn't mind all wrapped up and under my birthday tree. You're welcome.
For today's selection, we have the Disney Couture Jewelry. Now I'm not big on the wholesomeness of Disney, but their couture jewelry line is pretty ill. Especially the Pirate shit.

Side Note: I was talking to someone the other day and they straight up told me that I was a pirate. On a

count of my wardrobe, tattoos, and language I guess. Whatever, I'll take that. I've been called worse,

and I think pirates are kinda bad ass in theory. Oh and not to mention I got the pirate booty on lock!

So anyway, here's a few of my picks from the line. Buyer tip: if you get me a ring I have extra small baby digits so get the smallest size offered.Thanks

Pirates Bracelet $42 Pirate Sugar Necklace $36 Shark Jaw Ring $32 Black Apple Ring $28

And last but ceartinly most desired....

Pirates Sugar Skull Ring $24

I will post more birthday suggestions for you as I come across them. Also allow me to remind you that kisses are free and I super love recieving those. Thanks

2011-08-09T17:06:00.005-06:00

2011-08-09T17:06:00.002-06:00

2011-08-09T16:15:00.001-06:00

While driving thru Commerce City, my son and I had one of the most random conversations ever. I wish I knew the thought process that produced this one.

Mini: Have you seen The Lincoln Lawyer?
Me: No
Mini: Did you fart?
Me: No
Mini: You're nobody till somebody shoots you.

I pee sitting down.

2011-08-04T15:32:00.000-06:00

I pee sitting down, you should too, unless you're a boy.
Over the past 5 weeks or so, I've been incredibly perplexed by the goings on in the ladies bathroom here at work. I have walked into a stall on numerous occasions to find the lid to the toilet seat up. Similar to the way the boys in my house leave it post piss. Now, seeing as though I'm in the LADIES room, you can understand my confusion. Ladies pee sitting down. Now, I'm not a complete idiot, I know that when the toilets are cleaned sometimes the seats are all left up. Which I have seen when using the bathroom first thing in the morning. I have confirmed that our cleaning service does not clean the toilets midway thru the day. (yes I fucking confirmed it, because I am trying to get to the bottom of this mystery)
So the way I see it, there is a man of some kind infiltrating the 4th floor ladies room. I'm guessing it's maybe a man dressed like a woman, on a count of I don't think a man dressed like a man would just waltz into the ladies room and piss mid-day, but who knows motherfuckers are strange.
So if it is a man/man using the ladies toilets, please take your penis and bad manners next door to the men's room. If it is a man disguised as a lady, they should know that to properly pull off this deceitful charade, it would be in your best interest to sit down when you pee on a count of forward facing feet will always raise suspicion. If you cannot manage the tuck & pee, then please use your fucking lady manners and put the toilet seat down. This has been a public service announcement.
You're welcome.

JAWSOME

2011-08-04T11:56:00.000-06:00

For those that love Shark Week as much as I do. Enjoy bro.

Who can you trust?

2011-08-03T13:37:00.000-06:00

So yeah, you've heard me say that DJ Amen/LARD's Never Trust Robots is thee illest mixtape in my collection. In fact I featured it way back when it was released, as well as all of his Field Day Radio joints (which can all be found in the booty archives). So I think we're clear that I'm not just jumping on the blog bandwagon with this one. BTW shout out to the "bloggers" who post stuff they don't know shit about tryna act like they do. SMH
Amen is an amazing DJ and a good friend of mine. When he told me a while back that he was working on NTR2, I was fucking ecstatic!! His mixes are so appealing to me on a count of I'm not a hardcore hip-hop head. He hits you with joints that are out of the ordinary and from a variety of genres. The transitions are like fucking butter unlike most mixes being released lately.
Do yourself a favor and download this shit. You can view the full track list over at The 4th Door. I've had it on loop for a few days now, and I still can't get enough! Shit is fucking fire. You're welcome.

NeVEr TRuSt ROBoTs pT. 2 by DJ Amen

2011-07-22T17:43:00.000-06:00

Mini: They made me Junior Counselor at camp!
Me: That's dope! How did you get that job?
Mini: It's because I'm so good looking I guess.
Me: They don't give people positions of power because they are good looking son.
Mini: Well how did you get your fancy job?
Me: Excuse me!! Maybe because I worked hard and am really good at what I do!
Mini: No.... I'm sure it's just because you're pretty mom.

..... I'm still unsure whether or not I should be offended by this. Either way, my kid is hilarious, and incredibly good looking. We all know where he got those qualities.

#screenshots

2011-07-22T17:35:00.001-06:00

I got this message on facebook last night. I don't even know who this broad is. She's old and apparently a grandmother or some shit. I guess she e-stalks my life. Whatever, this is fucking hilarious to me. Oh and for those of you who don't know the deal.... I pretty much do and say whatever I want. I heart curse words in any way shape or form they come. For those of you who are offended by my language art, allow me to remind you of two things:

1. Words don't own us.

2. I don't give a motherfuck what the fuck you think of me you fucking fuck.

Oh and here's a lil something special for my e-stalker and all my other critics. One of my all time favorite joints ever!

"Nasty bitches around the world, I wrote this rhyme for you. You might not like my rap, but I'm tellin you bitch it's true."

on blast

2011-07-22T16:09:00.000-06:00

So yeah, if you hadn't heard already.... I'm officially reppin the Box State for the Blasted Ink Girls!! I'm super excited. They do a lot of non profit and other good shit for the community. So word up for this new life adventure. I'm pumped to see where it takes me! Be sure to visit BlastedInkGirls.com and look for me under "Meet The Girls" and also in the "Gallery" section. You should also go "like" the Blasted Ink Fan Page.
Oh and as always, thanks to all my peeps for your continued support of all the ish I attempt to succeed at! Ya'll mean the motherfucking world to me!! Pow!

click click boom

2011-07-22T16:01:00.000-06:00

Another amazing event poppin off this weekend is your monthly installment of Paparazzi For The People! This one's more special on a count of we'll be celebrating the life of some of my favorite people!! This event kills every single month!! Don't fucking miss it! Oh and stay tuned for August's edition of PFTP it's also going to melt your face!! Promise!